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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
Emotions as signals remove filterOn my own remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
How long you have
Five minutes 2Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for
Me 3My husband or wife 3A practitioner 3
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Involves someone else 4On my own 3Both of us together 2
Theme · Emotions as signals
Staying regulated in conflict 17What anger actually is 13The fear underneath anger 12Equanimity and perspective 8Repair after rupture 6Cool the body first 6Choosing your response 5Practising under provocation 4The moment before you snap 4Feelings and focus 3Tolerate distress 3Emotions as signals 3Shame and stigma 3When anger turns to harm 2Bringing the future closer 2Making it stick 2Treatment and medication 2Your nervous system 2What you are actually defending 1What ADHD actually is 1Shame 1Remembering to do it 1Rebuilding trust 1When you go numb 1Grounding and settling 1Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Fondness and admiration 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
When · After a row
Any ordinary day 6Under stress 3After a row 3

Nobody ever came for help because they were too happy. What arrives as irritation or flatness on the surface is usually fear, grief or shame underneath.

So when someone snaps at you, or when you go cold and clipped yourself, treat that as the top layer rather than the whole story. The useful question…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:19

Go back to the second before you reacted. Not the argument, not the history, just that one second and what crossed you in it.

Most people have to genuinely search for the answer, and the searching is where the work happens rather than in whatever they eventually say.…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 75:2

When all you can say is that something happened and you went off, take it apart in five pieces: what set it off, how you read it, what your body did, what you made it mean, and what you wanted to do next.

Written out on paper it usually stops being a blur. You often find the trigger was small and the meaning was enormous, or that your body was already…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:7

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.