Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

25 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Structure and routine
Your nervous system 81Medication and how it works 69Get started 61Systems for daily life 52What anger actually is 50Your sense of time 48Food, caffeine and fuel 43The moment before you snap 42Choosing your response 41Exercise, food and other supports 40Moving your body 37What ADHD actually is 35Treatment and medication 34Bringing the future closer 33Equanimity and perspective 33Grounding and settling 31The fear underneath anger 30When everything feels flat 29Screens and attention 28Touch and bodywork 27Structure and routine 25Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Practising under provocation 24Shame and stigma 22Feelings and focus 22Making it stick 20Treatment and medication 19Cool the body first 19What worry does 19Being seen and judged 18Remembering to do it 17Breathing 17Growing empathy 17Feeling from the inside 15When you use something to cope 15What you are actually defending 13Reading, numbers and learning differences 12Fondness and admiration 12Obsessions and compulsions 10Tolerate distress 10Answering bids 10Righteous anger and perfectionism 10Staying regulated in conflict 9Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Knowing your partner 8Facing it a step at a time 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Emotions as signals 6Question the thought 6Posture and how you carry yourself 5Shame 4When you go numb 3Living with uncertainty 3When anger turns to harm 3Your worth is not conditional 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Work with your brain 2Act on your values 2Meaning after harm 2Face it gently 2Get it out of your head 2Rest and pacing 2Find meaning 2Keep the bond 2Repair after rupture 2Affection and touch 1Safety and grounding 1Panic and the body 1Listening and understanding 1Listen to the body 1Your window of tolerance 1Care for yourself in loss 1The cost of avoiding 1Rebuilding trust 1

You do not have to use it perfectly for it to help. Using it half the time makes your week roughly half better, and that is a real gain rather than a consolation prize.

Watch for the all or nothing turn, because it is what usually ends these attempts. One missed entry, then the whole thing gets declared broken and…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:185

Writing Tuesday at two in your diary is not a vow. If Tuesday comes and something else matters more, move it. At least it had a chance of happening.

A surprising number of people avoid writing anything down because it feels binding, as though the ink made it a promise. Left unsaid, that quietly…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

Whatever you estimate, add to it. Fifteen minutes is the figure you get at midnight with empty roads; at midday the same trip takes twenty five.

Do not try to estimate better, since accurate estimating is the thing that is hard. Use a rule you can apply without judgement instead: take your…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

When you book something, put everything into the entry there and then: the address, the phone number, what you have to bring. You will never have that information more easily to hand than at the moment of booking.

The alternative is standing on the pavement at ten to one, searching for which branch it was, with the insurance card at home. Booking is already a…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:238

Think of a calendar as memory kept outside your head rather than as a test of discipline. Its whole job is to answer what you should be doing now, so that you do not have to work it out.

That framing matters if planners have ever felt like a judgement on you. Nobody expects anyone to hold a phone number in their head any more. The…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 6:96

The benefit comes from how often you touch it. Writing something in is a rehearsal, looking it up is a reminder, and by the time the day arrives you have met it so many times that nothing takes you by surprise.

Which is why a scruffy system used constantly beats an elegant one opened weekly. Give yourself a couple of fixed moments to look, first thing and…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 33:35

If you are the sort who leaves at the last possible second, the entry has to hold everything you need in order to walk out of the door. Address, door code, what to bring, who to ring if you get stuck.

At five minutes to, you cannot search well and you cannot think of what you have forgotten. That is the wrong moment to be finding anything out. Get…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 24:36

A three o'clock appointment half an hour away is a half past two appointment. Put the true start time in and let the calendar hold it, rather than asking yourself to work it out on the day.

Lateness usually comes from anchoring on the time printed on the letter and treating the journey as though it cost nothing. Writing the leaving time…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 36:40

Putting something in the calendar does not sign you up for life. If Wednesday turns out wrong, drag it to Thursday. The entry is a plan, and plans are allowed to change.

People who fear being locked in tend to end up with an empty calendar and a full head, which is the worse of the two problems. Say the permission out…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 25:62

The long reason why is doing less than you hope. Give the instruction, give one short line of why if it helps, and let that be the end of it.

When the explanation runs on, the instruction gets buried somewhere in the middle of it and comes out the other side lost. A long justification also…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:110

Attach a new habit to one you already do: after wudu, I read one page.

Let an existing routine carry the new thing. You are borrowing momentum you already have.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

Do the task at the same time and place each day, so the setting starts to do the reminding.

Novelty costs a mind like yours energy. Sameness of time and place buys that energy back.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

By your teens you need some way, any way, of answering one question: given that it is this time on this day, what should I be doing? A plain system that answers it beats a beautiful one that does not.

Paper, phone, whiteboard on the fridge, the format is not the point. If the answer depends on remembering, it depends on luck. Pick the thing you…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 4:103

If a calendar feels like something parents and teachers made you carry, it stays theirs and you keep putting it down. The question worth answering is whose life gets easier when it works.

Most people who grew up being organised at have some resistance to this, and it makes sense. So make it yours in a literal way: it holds the things…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 20:130

Unless the dentist works in your living room, dentist at one is only half an entry. Block the getting there, the parking and the walking in, and block the journey home as well.

Travel disappears from planning because it does not feel like the task. Then the day gets built as though appointments touch each other end to end,…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

A system survives if it gives back more than it costs. Every time your diary saves you a phone call or a scramble, you have bought yourself a little more willingness to open it tomorrow.

So load it up on purpose. Put in the parking notes, the door code, the name of the person you are meeting, the thing you meant to ask them. None of…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Plenty of people manage without any system at all. They tend to manage on adrenaline, late nights and a low hum of dread, which is a high price for an outcome that looks fine from outside.

When your results are acceptable, nobody asks what they cost you, and you may have stopped asking too. Worth checking honestly: how much of the week…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Move things off the to do list and into the week itself. Not write the report, but Wednesday at one, ninety minutes, write the report.

An undated task has nothing to make it happen. It sits there competing with whatever is loud right now and loses every time. Giving it a day, a start…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

Once tasks sit in the week rather than on a list, you can see that Thursday has no room left. Saying no gets much easier when the crowding is in front of your eyes instead of somewhere in your head.

Holding several commitments in mind at once and weighing them against each other is genuinely hard. Looking at a full column and noticing there is…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

A schedule tells you what to do now. It does not make you want to do it, and pretending otherwise sets you up to feel let down when three o'clock comes and you stay sitting.

Even so, knowing is a good half of the problem solved, and it is the half that is hard to fix any other way. The other half needs its own tools:…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.