Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Tolerate distress Five minutes On my own Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 7 Five minutes 8 Twenty minutes 6 Longer 2

Who it is written for

Me 8 A practitioner 6 Someone I care about 3

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 4 Struggling right now 3 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 8 Involves someone else 3

Theme · Tolerate distress

Your nervous system 65 Medication and how it works 49 What anger actually is 46 Equanimity and perspective 36 Touch and bodywork 34 The moment before you snap 34 Get started 33 Getting assessed and diagnosed 32 Grounding and settling 32 Exercise, food and other supports 31 Choosing your response 30 Your sense of time 30 When everything feels flat 29 The fear underneath anger 28 What ADHD actually is 28 Food, caffeine and fuel 27 Systems for daily life 25 Practising under provocation 22 Treatment and medication 21 Bringing the future closer 19 Cool the body first 18 Breathing 18 Shame and stigma 18 Screens and attention 17 Moving your body 16 Feeling from the inside 16 What worry does 16 What you are actually defending 15 Feelings and focus 14 Making it stick 11 Being seen and judged 11 Structure and routine 11 Treatment and medication 10 Obsessions and compulsions 9 Remembering to do it 9 Breaking the worry loop 9 Growing empathy 9 Tolerate distress 8 Righteous anger and perfectionism 8 When you use something to cope 8 Emotions as signals 7 Reading, numbers and learning differences 7 Self-compassion 7 Question the thought 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 When anger turns to harm 4 Shame 4 Facing it a step at a time 4 Staying regulated in conflict 4 When you go numb 3 Work with your brain 2 Meaning after harm 2 Use your strengths 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Living with uncertainty 2 Get it out of your head 1 Repair after rupture 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Working with anger 1 Rebuilding trust 1 Shared spiritual life 1 Your worth is not conditional 1 Rest and pacing 1 Let the wave come 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Knowing your partner 1 Calm the body 1

Approach

Body based 5 DBT skills 2 Mindfulness 1

When

Under stress 4 Any ordinary day 3 After a row 1

Stop fighting what already is. Accepting a hard reality, without approving of it, ends the extra layer of pain.

Saying it is so is not the same as saying it is fine. Dropping the war with what already happened frees you to respond.

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 64:11

Soothe yourself through the senses: a warm drink, a soft cloth, a good scent, a slow walk. Be kind to the body.

When you cannot fix the feeling, comfort the one who is feeling it. Small kindnesses to the body settle the mind.

Five minutesTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:6

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83

Sometimes the thing that stops your tears is an order somebody gave you decades ago, and you are the one carrying it out now. One woman found her father's words sitting behind a habit of wiping her face dry the moment she cried.

That is worth knowing because it changes who the rule belongs to. It was his voice, in her hands, running long after he had gone. Naming the source…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 16:127

Before going towards a hard feeling, decide what will hold you while you are inside it: a way of breathing, a way of standing, a sentence, a person you can picture or ring.

Going in with nothing is not brave, it is flooding, and it teaches your system that feelings really are dangerous. Pick two or three supports in…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:153

Whether a feeling is nowhere to be found or far too much, the questions are the same: what breath, what movement, what sentence, what person helps me stay with this?

Numbness and overwhelm look like opposites and they are both a problem of not being able to stay with the material. The same supports work in either…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 94:6

Anger wants the body to do something, so let it. Breathe deeper and higher into the chest, stand up, press both palms hard into a wall, walk on the spot, push down through your feet.

Pressing against something solid gives the mobilisation an outlet with nothing broken and nobody hurt. Keep going until the charge drops a little,…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 84:6

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.