Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

12 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Systems for daily life
The moment before you snap 34Choosing your response 34Staying regulated in conflict 32Cool the body first 29Your nervous system 24What anger actually is 24Grounding and settling 21The fear underneath anger 20Get started 19Bringing the future closer 18Medication and how it works 16Your sense of time 14Equanimity and perspective 14Fondness and admiration 13Treatment and medication 13Answering bids 13Systems for daily life 12Structure and routine 12Making it stick 12Feelings and focus 11Practising under provocation 11Touch and bodywork 11Growing empathy 10Knowing your partner 9Food, caffeine and fuel 9Exercise, food and other supports 8What ADHD actually is 8Tolerate distress 7Remembering to do it 7Gratitude 7When everything feels flat 6Repair after rupture 6Screens and attention 6What worry does 6Moving your body 6Shared spiritual life 5Being seen and judged 5Breathing 5What you are actually defending 5Treatment and medication 5Shame and stigma 5Feeling from the inside 4Question the thought 4Self-compassion 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Name what you feel 3Facing it a step at a time 3When you use something to cope 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Ride the urge 2Affection and touch 2Rebuilding trust 2Let the wave come 2Shame 2Rituals of connection 2Hold a boundary 2Posture and how you carry yourself 2Patience and trust 2Working with anger 2Your worth is not conditional 2Panic and the body 2Meaning after harm 2Emotions as signals 2Calm the body 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Safety and grounding 2Get it out of your head 1Act on your values 1Listening and understanding 1Keep the bond 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Validate yourself and others 1When anger turns to harm 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1When you go numb 1Your window of tolerance 1Rest and pacing 1Breaking the worry loop 1Care for yourself in loss 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Listen to the body 1
Approach
When

Charge the phone in another room overnight. Not face down, not on the far side of the bed: another room, so that reaching it means standing up.

Distance is what does the work here, which is why the halfway versions never hold. If you use it as an alarm, a cheap clock settles that for the…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:3

Reading a room is a skill rather than a personality trait, and it can be broken into parts. Before you speak, take a second to look: who is here, what they are doing, how loud the place is.

Give yourself a short list to run through. How are people dressed and speaking, is this somewhere jokes land, is anybody clearly in a hurry. Then…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

If you cannot start, the step is too big. Shrink it until it sounds daft: open the document, write the date, put one plate in the sink.

The catch is that the daft step has to be the whole of what you agreed to do, not a trick for getting yourself to do the enormous thing. Most days…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Use a timer you can see rather than one you have to read. A dial where the coloured part shrinks tells you how much is left at a glance, with no arithmetic in the way.

Set it for the length of the task, or for the length you can stand, and leave it where your eye falls. A digital countdown asks you to work out what…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 27:40

Put something you genuinely want at the end of the chain, and keep it where you can see it. A reward far off in the future is much the same as no reward at all.

Name it before you begin and write it at the top of the page. Keep it close: this evening rather than next term. It does not have to be impressive.…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Putting something in the diary does not guarantee it happens. It gives it a chance it did not have before. That is the honest promise, and it is still worth having.

Expect a fair few blocks to pass unused, particularly in the first month. That is not the system failing, it is the system doing what it does, which…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Putting a task in the diary is not the same as doing it. The slot holds the time. The starting is still yours.

Worth knowing before you build anything, because when the first week goes by with the boxes filled and half of them untouched, the honest conclusion…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

When something has sat undone for weeks, ask what next month's version of you would say about it. Relieved it is finished, or honestly indifferent?

If future you would be relieved, this is procrastination and it needs a hand: a smaller first step, a set time, someone alongside you. If future you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

Every time your eye lands on the job you have never started, it takes a small toll. Ten of those on one list is a tax you pay all day without noticing.

This is the argument for cutting a list back hard, and it has nothing to do with tidiness. An item you are not going to do still costs you something…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

An hour exists somewhere in the week for almost anything. That is what makes yes so easy, and it is not the same as having an hour.

The question that gets skipped is not whether the time exists but what is already claiming it. Answering that means calling to mind everything you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

Practise one sentence until it comes out on its own: let me check and come back to you. It buys the few minutes you need to answer truthfully.

The moment of being asked is the hard part, because the yes is out of your mouth before any checking has happened. Having one phrase ready means you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

The cheapest place to deal with a task is before it ever reaches your list. Some things are better declined in the moment they are offered.

Once something is written down it starts costing you. It gets read, moved to next week, copied out again, felt guilty about. Filtering at the door…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 7:31

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.