Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

12 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Structure and routine
The moment before you snap 34Choosing your response 34Staying regulated in conflict 32Cool the body first 29Your nervous system 24What anger actually is 24Grounding and settling 21The fear underneath anger 20Get started 19Bringing the future closer 18Medication and how it works 16Your sense of time 14Equanimity and perspective 14Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Treatment and medication 13Making it stick 12Systems for daily life 12Structure and routine 12Feelings and focus 11Practising under provocation 11Touch and bodywork 11Growing empathy 10Knowing your partner 9Food, caffeine and fuel 9Exercise, food and other supports 8What ADHD actually is 8Tolerate distress 7Remembering to do it 7Gratitude 7Screens and attention 6When everything feels flat 6What worry does 6Moving your body 6Repair after rupture 6Breathing 5What you are actually defending 5Treatment and medication 5Being seen and judged 5Shame and stigma 5Shared spiritual life 5Feeling from the inside 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Question the thought 4Self-compassion 4Name what you feel 3Facing it a step at a time 3When you use something to cope 3Rituals of connection 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Panic and the body 2Patience and trust 2Posture and how you carry yourself 2Rebuilding trust 2Ride the urge 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Let the wave come 2Safety and grounding 2Hold a boundary 2Shame 2Affection and touch 2Working with anger 2Your worth is not conditional 2Emotions as signals 2Calm the body 2Breaking the worry loop 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Get it out of your head 1Rest and pacing 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1When anger turns to harm 1Listen to the body 1Obsessions and compulsions 1When you go numb 1Care for yourself in loss 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Keep the bond 1Act on your values 1Validate yourself and others 1Your window of tolerance 1Listening and understanding 1

You do not have to use it perfectly for it to help. Using it half the time makes your week roughly half better, and that is a real gain rather than a consolation prize.

Watch for the all or nothing turn, because it is what usually ends these attempts. One missed entry, then the whole thing gets declared broken and…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:185

Writing Tuesday at two in your diary is not a vow. If Tuesday comes and something else matters more, move it. At least it had a chance of happening.

A surprising number of people avoid writing anything down because it feels binding, as though the ink made it a promise. Left unsaid, that quietly…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 4:28

Whatever you estimate, add to it. Fifteen minutes is the figure you get at midnight with empty roads; at midday the same trip takes twenty five.

Do not try to estimate better, since accurate estimating is the thing that is hard. Use a rule you can apply without judgement instead: take your…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

When you book something, put everything into the entry there and then: the address, the phone number, what you have to bring. You will never have that information more easily to hand than at the moment of booking.

The alternative is standing on the pavement at ten to one, searching for which branch it was, with the insurance card at home. Booking is already a…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:238

Think of a calendar as memory kept outside your head rather than as a test of discipline. Its whole job is to answer what you should be doing now, so that you do not have to work it out.

That framing matters if planners have ever felt like a judgement on you. Nobody expects anyone to hold a phone number in their head any more. The…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 6:96

The benefit comes from how often you touch it. Writing something in is a rehearsal, looking it up is a reminder, and by the time the day arrives you have met it so many times that nothing takes you by surprise.

Which is why a scruffy system used constantly beats an elegant one opened weekly. Give yourself a couple of fixed moments to look, first thing and…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 33:35

If you are the sort who leaves at the last possible second, the entry has to hold everything you need in order to walk out of the door. Address, door code, what to bring, who to ring if you get stuck.

At five minutes to, you cannot search well and you cannot think of what you have forgotten. That is the wrong moment to be finding anything out. Get…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 24:36

A three o'clock appointment half an hour away is a half past two appointment. Put the true start time in and let the calendar hold it, rather than asking yourself to work it out on the day.

Lateness usually comes from anchoring on the time printed on the letter and treating the journey as though it cost nothing. Writing the leaving time…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 36:40

Putting something in the calendar does not sign you up for life. If Wednesday turns out wrong, drag it to Thursday. The entry is a plan, and plans are allowed to change.

People who fear being locked in tend to end up with an empty calendar and a full head, which is the worse of the two problems. Say the permission out…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 25:62

The long reason why is doing less than you hope. Give the instruction, give one short line of why if it helps, and let that be the end of it.

When the explanation runs on, the instruction gets buried somewhere in the middle of it and comes out the other side lost. A long justification also…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:110

Attach a new habit to one you already do: after wudu, I read one page.

Let an existing routine carry the new thing. You are borrowing momentum you already have.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

Do the task at the same time and place each day, so the setting starts to do the reminding.

Novelty costs a mind like yours energy. Sameness of time and place buys that energy back.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.