Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1158 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Get started 41Choosing your response 41The moment before you snap 39Systems for daily life 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Touch and bodywork 30Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Treatment and medication 27Exercise, food and other supports 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Making it stick 18Structure and routine 18Cool the body first 18What worry does 17Screens and attention 17What you are actually defending 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Self-compassion 8Emotions as signals 8Breaking the worry loop 7When you use something to cope 7Use your strengths 7Gratitude 7Shared spiritual life 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Let the wave come 3Safety and grounding 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Act on your values 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Rebuilding trust 3Your worth is not conditional 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rest and pacing 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Listen to the body 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Rituals of connection 2When you go numb 1The cost of avoiding 1Panic and the body 1Validate yourself and others 1Living with uncertainty 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
When

Two things depend on the same small gap: looking back at how the last one went, and looking ahead at how this one is likely to go. Neither can happen once you are already moving.

Which is oddly good news, because it is not two skills to build. It is the half second before you answer, agree, buy or set off. Most people already…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

Usually it is not that you did not know better. The obvious option had already taken hold before anything you know got a chance to speak.

So more information is rarely the fix. What helps is a wedge between the pull and the action: saying you will answer tomorrow, keeping your hand off…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

Without that gap the choice is made before it is a choice: one marshmallow now instead of two in ten minutes. It shows up in money, in work, in what gets said to people.

Worth seeing as one pattern rather than as a list of separate failings, which is both kinder and more useful. The same fix applies everywhere it…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:21

People stop telling the truth to anyone who argues with it. Being easy to be honest with is a skill, and it has to be visible from the outside.

Notice what you do in the first three seconds after hearing something you did not want to hear. The explaining, the yes but, the small correction of…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 14:7

Hang something small and near on the task. No coffee until the expense form is in. Not a treat later in the month, something you actually want in the next ten minutes.

It works better when the reward is genuinely small, genuinely close, and you hold the line on it. Big distant rewards behave exactly like the…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 29:69

Running late is one thing. Running late with no message is two things. If it is the text that keeps going missing, put a small cost on the text specifically: no message, you do the washing up.

Worth separating, because they really are separate problems and the second is much cheaper to solve. Remembering to send something while you are…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 99:7

Do not ask whether you feel like it. The answer is no, today and every other day. Ask how you will feel about it later.

The first question has only one answer and it never varies, which is why it ends up deciding everything. The second is answerable and it moves with…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 18:46

The job will not feel more pleasant on Thursday. It will be the same job, done tired, in less time, with somebody waiting. Later is not the easier option. It only looks that way from here.

There is a quiet assumption that willingness will turn up in the meantime. It does not. What changes is the conditions, and they get worse. Saying…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 16:96

Most time strategies are doing one of three jobs: showing you time passing, interrupting you when a moment arrives, or laying the days out ahead of you. When something is not working, ask which of the three is missing rather than hunting for a new app.

Have a look at what you already use. A clock in view and a timer running are the first job. An alarm that cuts through whatever you are absorbed in…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

If you lose track of how long you have been at something, a clock you can see is the fix. If you get pulled under and surface far too late, what you need is an interruption, not a clock.

Alarms and schedules are doing different jobs again. An alarm is there because noticing the time yourself is the bit that fails when you are…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

Smoking sends its bill decades later. Homework skipped at fourteen lands at university applications. January's receipt matters in April of the following year. The few seconds of relief are always right here.

Lining these up next to each other makes something clear that willpower talk hides. You are not being asked to want the far thing slightly more. You…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

Bring the cost forward into today. No screen until the hour of work is done, rather than a poor grade three months from now.

Same idea for adults: you do not leave the desk until the hour is in, the film waits until the form is filed. It works because it stops asking you to…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

Write it up before you leave. One salesman, knowing full well he will not remember the visit an hour later, does his notes in the car with the engine still off.

The strength of it is that the trigger is fixed and physical. Sitting down in the car is the cue, and the notes happen before the key turns. No…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

You get three goes at thinking about something: before it starts, somewhere in the middle, and once it is over. Most of us only ever use the last one, which is the least useful of them.

Before is a pause to look at the options. In the middle is a quick check on how it is actually going and whether anything needs changing. Afterwards…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

The first version of the list will be alright. It becomes good over a couple of years, one forgotten item at a time.

So when you arrive somewhere without the thing you needed, add a line rather than carrying the annoyance around with you. That turns a bad morning…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

At a check-in, only look. Where am I, what has slipped, what have I still not heard back on. Skim the inbox without opening anything.

The moment you answer one message the review is over, and you will not notice it ending. Keep a sheet beside you and write down what you spot instead…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:40

Once a day, look at the whole day before it starts eating you. What is on, what is urgent, what is this day actually best used for. Morning or evening, whichever you will really do.

It takes about five minutes and it is the difference between a day you chose and a day chosen for you by whoever emailed first. Some people prefer…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

Before you hand it over, read the original request again. Not your memory of it. The actual words.

Almost nobody enjoys this, which is why almost nobody does it. But work that is good except for the two things nobody remembered is the commonest…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:41

One way to hold the whole thing: you feel now at full volume and later almost not at all. Putting things off, saying yes too often, spending, jumping in. One pattern rather than four separate faults.

It changes what you go looking for. Not more discipline in each area separately, but ways of making later louder across all of them. A deadline you…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:20

A report due Friday puts a little pressure on somebody else's Monday. For you Monday feels like nothing at all, and then Thursday evening arrives carrying the whole of it.

It is worth drawing out honestly. One line sloping gently upwards all week, another staying flat and then going vertical. Once the shape is visible…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 87:17

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.