Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1974 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83Medication and how it works 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60The fear underneath anger 57Equanimity and perspective 57Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52What ADHD actually is 49Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46Exercise, food and other supports 44When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Practising under provocation 36Staying regulated in conflict 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25Treatment and medication 24What worry does 24Feeling from the inside 23Tolerate distress 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Fondness and admiration 13Breaking the worry loop 13Obsessions and compulsions 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Answering bids 13Self-compassion 12Emotions as signals 12Question the thought 11Facing it a step at a time 11Shame 10Knowing your partner 10Use your strengths 9Repair after rupture 8Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8When anger turns to harm 7Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7Living with uncertainty 4Meaning after harm 4Letting it out safely 4When you go numb 4Your worth is not conditional 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Rest and pacing 3Name what you feel 3Act on your values 3Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Panic and the body 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Validate yourself and others 1Listening and understanding 1
Approach
When

At some point is not a deadline, and your brain treats it accordingly. If you want to move on something, give it a day, an hour, and a specific thing that happens if it slips.

Vague costs sit too far away to register at all. Sharpen them: not I should sort the insurance, but if this is not done by Friday the cover lapses on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

If nothing starts until the deadline is close enough to hurt, the missing piece is starting, not caring. The deadline is doing a job your own switch has not learned to do yet.

It is worth telling this apart from the delaying that comes out of fear or out of wanting it perfect, because they want different help. If the task…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Before deciding you are avoiding something, check that you actually know what it wants. How long, in what form, by when, and what counts as finished.

A surprising amount of stuckness is not avoidance at all. You cannot start a job whose shape you cannot see, so your mind slides off it and you call…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Finding out what is needed is progress, not more delay. Ringing to ask which documents they want is starting the job.

People refuse themselves credit for this and then feel they have done nothing all week, which makes the next attempt heavier. Put the question on the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 40:60

Some days the whole job is putting everything you need in one place and then walking away. Tomorrow you begin already halfway in.

This splits the hard part in two, and both halves are small. Paint, brushes and tape by the door. The forms and the calculator on the kitchen table.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

The real prize for starting early is that you are allowed to stop. At the last minute you have to keep going until it is finished, however late that turns out to be.

That is a reward you can feel this evening rather than a virtue somebody tells you about. Half an hour on Monday and the rest of the night is yours.…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Do not save the treat for when the whole thing is finished. Put something small right after the awkward step: a coffee on the way back from the shop, a sit down once the taping is done.

A reward at the end of a three week project is not attached to anything you do on a Tuesday. Hang small ones off the steps instead, and choose things…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

If it has been on the list a year and nothing has moved, consider that you may have already decided. Saying so costs a good deal less than carrying it for another year.

Some items really are waiting for a better month. Others are quietly settled and only the guilt is still going round. You are allowed to say that the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 11:88

Decide now what you get if this is done by Friday, and what it costs you if it is not. Tell someone, so it is on the record.

The trouble with most jobs is that nothing happens either way, at least not for weeks. A deal made in advance puts a real consequence next to it: the…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

If you cannot say yes and cannot say no, look for the smaller version. Not the course, one module. Not every week, once a month.

All or nothing is often what makes a decision impossible, since neither end is honestly true for you. A reduced version can sit at the level where…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 73:20

A decision that is barely tipped is still a decision. If one side is ahead by a hair, that is your answer, and you are allowed to take it.

Waiting to feel sure is what keeps people circling for months, because certainty about a genuinely close call is not coming. Most real decisions get…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Sometimes both roads carry a cost and neither will feel good. Accept that first, then choose, rather than searching for the option that comes without a sting.

A lot of long deliberation is really a search for the version that leaves nobody upset and nothing lost. When that version does not exist, the search…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:45

An app can tell you what needs doing. It cannot make you want to do it. That gap is why the next one will disappoint you too.

Reminders, alarms and lists are genuinely good at the first job, so it is easy to assume a better one will finish the second. It will not, because…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 13:11

Choosing the app, picking the colours, setting up the tags: that is the task avoiding you. It is interesting, it feels like preparation, and by bedtime nothing has been done.

New systems are enjoyable in a way the actual work never is, which is exactly why the evening goes that way. A useful test is whether anything on…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

When something does not get written down, go back to that exact moment with curiosity rather than a telling off. What was in your hands, where were you, what did you tell yourself?

The useful information is all in the specifics: the request came in the corridor, the phone was in your other hand, you were already late. That is a…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:24

We all keep a few small stories that let us take the easier option in the moment. Not lies to other people, just the ones we tell ourselves and half believe.

They are not a sign of a bad character. Everybody has a set, and what you have been through shapes which ones you specialise in. The reason to know…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 92:4

You are allowed to decide not to write things down. What you cannot do is choose that and then be upset with yourself when you forget.

Straddling is the expensive bit: taking the easy option in the moment and the guilt afterwards. Pick one honestly. Either the note gets written, or…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

Some tasks are avoided because nobody has said what they want. Not knowing what good looks like is its own reason to keep walking past something.

An unclear job asks you to do two things at once: work out what it is, then do it. On top of that sits the worry of getting it wrong in a way you…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

An avoided task charges you rent even on the days nothing goes wrong. The low hum of hoping nobody asks is part of what it costs.

When we weigh up leaving something undone, we usually count only the visible consequences, the letter that might arrive or the person who might…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:133

A task you dislike needs a time and a place, not a place on the list. Tuesday at ten, at the kitchen table, is a plan. Soon is not.

Left in open competition, the dull job loses to everything more urgent and everything more interesting, every single day, and that is not a fault in…

Five minutesGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.