Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

39 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Systems for daily life
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Get started 41Choosing your response 41The moment before you snap 39Systems for daily life 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Moving your body 30Bringing the future closer 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Exercise, food and other supports 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Food, caffeine and fuel 19Practising under provocation 19Structure and routine 18Cool the body first 18Making it stick 18What you are actually defending 17What worry does 17Screens and attention 17Treatment and medication 16Breathing 15Growing empathy 15Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Feeling from the inside 12Shame and stigma 12Being seen and judged 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Self-compassion 8Emotions as signals 8Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Gratitude 7Breaking the worry loop 7Shared spiritual life 7Use your strengths 7When you use something to cope 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6When anger turns to harm 5Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Let the wave come 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Patience and trust 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Listen to the body 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1Panic and the body 1
Approach

Charge the phone in another room overnight. Not face down, not on the far side of the bed: another room, so that reaching it means standing up.

Distance is what does the work here, which is why the halfway versions never hold. If you use it as an alarm, a cheap clock settles that for the…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:3

Use a timer you can see rather than one you have to read. A dial where the coloured part shrinks tells you how much is left at a glance, with no arithmetic in the way.

Set it for the length of the task, or for the length you can stand, and leave it where your eye falls. A digital countdown asks you to work out what…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 27:40

When something has sat undone for weeks, ask what next month's version of you would say about it. Relieved it is finished, or honestly indifferent?

If future you would be relieved, this is procrastination and it needs a hand: a smaller first step, a set time, someone alongside you. If future you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

An hour exists somewhere in the week for almost anything. That is what makes yes so easy, and it is not the same as having an hour.

The question that gets skipped is not whether the time exists but what is already claiming it. Answering that means calling to mind everything you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 17:29

Practise one sentence until it comes out on its own: let me check and come back to you. It buys the few minutes you need to answer truthfully.

The moment of being asked is the hard part, because the yes is out of your mouth before any checking has happened. Having one phrase ready means you…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

The cheapest place to deal with a task is before it ever reaches your list. Some things are better declined in the moment they are offered.

Once something is written down it starts costing you. It gets read, moved to next week, copied out again, felt guilty about. Filtering at the door…

A minuteSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 7:31

Before a task you have been circling for days, give five minutes to moving your body. A brisk walk or a couple of flights of stairs is often enough to make starting feel less like pushing at a door that will not open.

Treat the movement as part of the task rather than something virtuous you do separately. The lift is short lived, so it helps most sitting right…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 20:114

Light movement while you work is not stolen from the work. Rocking a foot, standing up, a slow circuit of the room on a call: for many people the concentration goes up rather than down.

Worth testing instead of assuming. Take one task you always do sitting still and do it moving gently: read on your feet, take the meeting walking,…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 22:78

Do not leave it to eleven at night to decide whether to close the tab. Set the block in the afternoon, while you are still the version of yourself who wants it set.

A browser extension that shuts certain sites between certain hours, a router on a timer, mobile data off after a set time. Pick one, set it once, and…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeMedical and treatmentQur’an 34:11

Planning does not really happen in your head. Until the week is written somewhere you actually look, you are guessing, however sincere your intentions are.

One calendar rather than four. Paper or phone matters far less than whether you will open it, so choose the one that appears in front of you without…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 68:1

Urgent means the clock is pushing. Important means it matters to the life you are trying to have. In the moment the two feel identical, and they are not.

Take your list and put one letter beside each thing. U if something real goes wrong today when it slips, I if it moves you towards something you care…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

The good place to be is where things matter but nothing is on fire yet. Booking the check-up, planning next term, getting the haircut before it becomes a situation.

None of it feels like an achievement, which is exactly why it gets no credit and keeps slipping. Try counting it as work: the dentist, the form, an…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:47

Instead of guessing what pulls you away, catch it happening. Keep a scrap of paper beside you for a week and note whatever took you off, at the moment it takes you off.

Two words is plenty: phone, hungry, that noise, the thought about Saturday. The writing itself breaks the drift, so some of the benefit arrives…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 10:61

Sort the work into hardest, middling and easiest, then choose the order on purpose. Easy first for momentum or hard first while you are sharp, both are fine. What is not fine is letting the most interesting thing win by default.

Write the three piles on paper and then pick. If you tend to run out of steam by three in the afternoon, the hard thing belongs in the morning. If…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 34:11

Work, friends, games and news all happen on the same rectangle, so nothing in your surroundings tells you which one you are in. Software has to do the job the room used to do.

A blocker that shuts the usual sites during your working hours, a tracker that shows you afterwards where the time actually went, or a small app that…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 50:17

Keep both tools, and settle in advance where each thing goes. The deciding is what wears you out, so make that decision once instead of forty times a week.

The rule can be a single line inside the front cover: if it has a time, calendar; if it has a deadline but no time, list. Then writing things down…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 12:55

Some jobs never move because they were never yours. Somebody else wanted them and you wrote them down to be kind.

You can usually spot one: the item that has been copied onto three different lists and never once started. The trouble is not that the work is hard.…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

For the item that never gets done, make an actual decision: cross it off, or find a way to genuinely want it. Leaving it sitting there is the only option that costs you every single day.

Taking it on often works through a person rather than through the task. You may not care about the paperwork, but you care about whoever is waiting…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 5:2

Saying no accurately depends on a calendar you actually keep. You cannot check whether Thursday is free if Thursday looks blank when it is not.

This is what makes the fiddly work of maintaining a diary worth doing. Nobody keeps a calendar for the pleasure of keeping one. You keep it so that…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 65:7

But what if I need it one day? The honest answer is that keeping it has a daily price. A list you cannot find anything in has stopped being a list.

The thing you might want once in two years is sitting on top of the thing you need on Thursday. That holds for a to-do list, a desk and a spare room…

Five minutesSystems for daily lifeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.