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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices
Emotions as signals remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterOn my own remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Five minutes 4Twenty minutes 2
Who it is written for
Me 8My husband or wife 8A practitioner 8
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 8Struggling right now 4
On your own, or with someone · On my own
On my own 8Both of us together 7Involves someone else 5
Theme · Emotions as signals
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41The moment before you snap 39Systems for daily life 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Exercise, food and other supports 26When everything feels flat 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Structure and routine 18Making it stick 18Cool the body first 18Screens and attention 17What worry does 17What you are actually defending 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Being seen and judged 12Feeling from the inside 12Shame and stigma 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Emotions as signals 8Tolerate distress 8Self-compassion 8Repair after rupture 8Gratitude 7When you use something to cope 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6When anger turns to harm 5Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Your worth is not conditional 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Working with anger 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1
When
Any ordinary day 4After a row 3Under stress 1

Every feeling comes with something it wants you to do. Catching the move before you make it is most of the skill.

Anger wants to push, fear wants to get out of the room, sadness wants to curl up, shame wants to disappear. None of that is wrong, and the trouble is…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:87

You do not need a long list of feeling words. Half a dozen you can actually reach for under pressure will do more than forty you have to look up.

Angry, sad, afraid, ashamed, surprised, glad is enough to start with, and most hard moments are some mixture of the first four. The aim is not to…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:8

You cannot ask for something you cannot feel the want of. Before working out how to say it, spend a minute finding what you actually need.

This is why advice to communicate better so often goes nowhere. The words come out tidy and land as nothing, because there was no felt need inside…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 26:13

Nobody ever came for help because they were too happy. What arrives as irritation or flatness on the surface is usually fear, grief or shame underneath.

So when someone snaps at you, or when you go cold and clipped yourself, treat that as the top layer rather than the whole story. The useful question…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:19

Go back to the second before you reacted. Not the argument, not the history, just that one second and what crossed you in it.

Most people have to genuinely search for the answer, and the searching is where the work happens rather than in whatever they eventually say.…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 75:2

If all you can say is that you want to get away, that is already information. Nobody moves away from nothing, so somewhere in there is something that felt hard.

You do not need to know what it is yet. Hold the smaller version for a while: something here is difficult, and the pulling back is how I have been…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:8

When all you can say is that something happened and you went off, take it apart in five pieces: what set it off, how you read it, what your body did, what you made it mean, and what you wanted to do next.

Written out on paper it usually stops being a blur. You often find the trigger was small and the meaning was enormous, or that your body was already…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:7

Take one episode from this week and give it five lines: what set it off, how you read it, what happened in your body, what you took it to mean, and what you wanted to do.

Doing this with an actual event, rather than in general, is what makes it useful. Keep the lines short and resist tidying them into something more…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.