Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

18 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Structure and routine
Your nervous system 52Medication and how it works 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41Systems for daily life 39The moment before you snap 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Getting assessed and diagnosed 26When everything feels flat 26Exercise, food and other supports 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Food, caffeine and fuel 19Practising under provocation 19Cool the body first 18Making it stick 18Structure and routine 18Screens and attention 17What you are actually defending 17What worry does 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Being seen and judged 12Shame and stigma 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Feeling from the inside 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Tolerate distress 8Repair after rupture 8Emotions as signals 8Self-compassion 8Breaking the worry loop 7Gratitude 7When you use something to cope 7Shared spiritual life 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6Question the thought 5When anger turns to harm 5Meaning after harm 4Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Rebuilding trust 3Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Working with anger 3Affection and touch 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1

Whatever you estimate, add to it. Fifteen minutes is the figure you get at midnight with empty roads; at midday the same trip takes twenty five.

Do not try to estimate better, since accurate estimating is the thing that is hard. Use a rule you can apply without judgement instead: take your…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

When you book something, put everything into the entry there and then: the address, the phone number, what you have to bring. You will never have that information more easily to hand than at the moment of booking.

The alternative is standing on the pavement at ten to one, searching for which branch it was, with the insurance card at home. Booking is already a…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:238

The benefit comes from how often you touch it. Writing something in is a rehearsal, looking it up is a reminder, and by the time the day arrives you have met it so many times that nothing takes you by surprise.

Which is why a scruffy system used constantly beats an elegant one opened weekly. Give yourself a couple of fixed moments to look, first thing and…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 33:35

A three o'clock appointment half an hour away is a half past two appointment. Put the true start time in and let the calendar hold it, rather than asking yourself to work it out on the day.

Lateness usually comes from anchoring on the time printed on the letter and treating the journey as though it cost nothing. Writing the leaving time…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 36:40

The long reason why is doing less than you hope. Give the instruction, give one short line of why if it helps, and let that be the end of it.

When the explanation runs on, the instruction gets buried somewhere in the middle of it and comes out the other side lost. A long justification also…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:110

Attach a new habit to one you already do: after wudu, I read one page.

Let an existing routine carry the new thing. You are borrowing momentum you already have.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

Do the task at the same time and place each day, so the setting starts to do the reminding.

Novelty costs a mind like yours energy. Sameness of time and place buys that energy back.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

If a calendar feels like something parents and teachers made you carry, it stays theirs and you keep putting it down. The question worth answering is whose life gets easier when it works.

Most people who grew up being organised at have some resistance to this, and it makes sense. So make it yours in a literal way: it holds the things…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 20:130

Unless the dentist works in your living room, dentist at one is only half an entry. Block the getting there, the parking and the walking in, and block the journey home as well.

Travel disappears from planning because it does not feel like the task. Then the day gets built as though appointments touch each other end to end,…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

A system survives if it gives back more than it costs. Every time your diary saves you a phone call or a scramble, you have bought yourself a little more willingness to open it tomorrow.

So load it up on purpose. Put in the parking notes, the door code, the name of the person you are meeting, the thing you meant to ask them. None of…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Plenty of people manage without any system at all. They tend to manage on adrenaline, late nights and a low hum of dread, which is a high price for an outcome that looks fine from outside.

When your results are acceptable, nobody asks what they cost you, and you may have stopped asking too. Worth checking honestly: how much of the week…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Move things off the to do list and into the week itself. Not write the report, but Wednesday at one, ninety minutes, write the report.

An undated task has nothing to make it happen. It sits there competing with whatever is loud right now and loses every time. Giving it a day, a start…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

Once tasks sit in the week rather than on a list, you can see that Thursday has no room left. Saying no gets much easier when the crowding is in front of your eyes instead of somewhere in your head.

Holding several commitments in mind at once and weighing them against each other is genuinely hard. Looking at a full column and noticing there is…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

A schedule tells you what to do now. It does not make you want to do it, and pretending otherwise sets you up to feel let down when three o'clock comes and you stay sitting.

Even so, knowing is a good half of the problem solved, and it is the half that is hard to fix any other way. The other half needs its own tools:…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Before planning anything, work out which date is actually true. Does Thursday mean Thursday, or does everybody know it means Friday, and is Thursday even possible?

Planning against a date you do not believe in is planning against nothing, and you will feel that in how little the plan moves you. Get the real one…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 30:18

When you set your own deadline, watch what happens to it. Thursday becomes Friday, Friday becomes Monday, and it helps to know what that slide actually costs rather than guessing at it.

Keep a light record for a few weeks. Three things only: the date you picked, the date it was done, and one line on what the gap cost you. Sometimes…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

A calendar that catches only some of your commitments is more dangerous than no calendar at all. You look at Thursday, see a clear afternoon, say yes, and only later meet the thing that never got written down.

So the first job is not a better app. It is one place where everything goes, without exception, including the small things you are certain you will…

Twenty minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Put the demanding work where the energy is, not where the timetable happens to be convenient. Then alternate it with something they like, and break it up often.

Effort runs down fast, so an hour of hard work in one block will give you good minutes at the start and very little after. Cut it into shorter runs…

Twenty minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.