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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

Me Core Something good Clear all

Area

Your marriage 2 Anger 1 Focus, starting, and ADHD 1

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for · Me

Me 4 Someone I care about 2 My husband or wife 2 A practitioner 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 3 Involves someone else 1

Theme

Answering bids 2 Screens and attention 1 What you are actually defending 1

Approach · Core

Core 4 Gottman 1 Emotionally focused 1

When · Something good

Any ordinary day 208Under stress 98 After a row 57 Coming and going 5 In a change 4 Something good 4 When apart 1

When they share good news, ask a question about it.

The next time your spouse tells you something good, do not just say "that's great." Ask about it. How did it happen? What did you say? How did it…

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

Let them tell the good story twice.

Sharing a joy and being met with delight makes the joy larger and the bond warmer.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 30:21

A whole evening can go into recording an evening. It is worth asking, with no scolding in it, whether you were there for the thing you now have a photograph of.

This lands better than a rule about hours, because it is about something you would miss rather than something you are doing wrong. Try leaving the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 28:77

A cold-blooded animal that catches its dinner after dark cannot digest it until the sun comes back. It has the meal and it cannot use it.

That is what it looks like when good things only count once somebody else notices. The work is finished, the result is in, and it means nothing until…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 64:16

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.