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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
Repair after rupture remove filterEmotionally focused remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for
Me 3My husband or wife 3
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 2On my own 1
Theme · Repair after rupture
Staying regulated in conflict 13Emotions as signals 9Repair after rupture 3When you go numb 3Rebuilding trust 2Shame 2Affection and touch 1
Approach · Emotionally focused
Gottman 7Core 5Emotionally focused 3
When · After a row
After a row 3Any ordinary day 3Under stress 1

Offer a full, tender apology for a wound, with no defence appended.

I see how that hurt you, and I am truly sorry. Then stop. The silence after is the repair.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

After a fight cools today, say the reconnecting thing: we are still okay.

The fight can leave a quiet fear. Naming that you are still solid puts it to rest.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 49:10

When your spouse names a wound you caused, listen without defending, even once.

Not I didn't mean to. First: I hear that I hurt you, and I am sorry. Defence can wait.

Twenty minutesRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:135

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.