Skip to content

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices

Twenty minutes Struggling right now Emotionally focused Clear all

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 1 Five minutes 15 Twenty minutes 3 Longer 1

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 3 A practitioner 3 Me 2

Where you are right now · Struggling right now

Coping, mostly 8 Struggling right now 3 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone

Both of us together 2 On my own 1

Approach · Emotionally focused

ADHD skills 34 Medical and treatment 24 CBT 14 Core 13 Body based 13 Trauma informed 5 DBT skills 4 Narrative 3 Emotionally focused 3 Grief 2 Gottman 2 Mindfulness 1

When

Under stress 2 Any ordinary day 1

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

Emptying the feeling out at somebody does not shift it, and being told what to do instead skips over it. What changes things is feeling it with someone who stays.

You can tell the difference from the inside. Venting has a rehearsed quality, the same phrases coming round again with the heat kept up. Advice…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:83

When you are trying to reach a feeling, stay with the actual sentence that caused it rather than paraphrasing it into something milder.

She said you are too difficult. Said again, gently, it keeps the moment alive in the room instead of turning it into a memory being reported.…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.