Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

86 practices

Coping, mostly Emotionally focused Clear all

Area

Your marriage 63 Low mood and hard feelings 23

How long you have

A minute 56 Five minutes 22 Twenty minutes 8

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 86 Me 79 A practitioner 23 Someone I care about 8

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Coping, mostly 86 Struggling right now 20 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 42 On my own 36 Both of us together 8

Theme

Staying regulated in conflict 20 Emotions as signals 20 Answering bids 10 Knowing your partner 10 Affection and touch 8 Repair after rupture 7 Shared spiritual life 2 Rebuilding trust 2 Rituals of connection 2 Shame 2 Fondness and admiration 1 When you go numb 1 Listening and understanding 1

Approach · Emotionally focused

ADHD skills 404Medical and treatment 321Core 314Body based 172CBT 146Gottman 108Mindfulness 102Emotionally focused 86 DBT skills 28 Trauma informed 21 Grief 13 Narrative 7 Parts work 3

When

Any ordinary day 33 After a row 25 Under stress 24 When apart 2 Something good 1 Coming and going 1

Keep one daily moment to reconnect, a few minutes that are only about the two of you.

Morning coffee, the walk, the goodnight. A small daily island of us.

Five minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:62

Once this week, sit together unhurried and share one feeling and one reassurance.

Not logistics. How are we really, and what do you need from me. A regular heart to heart.

Twenty minutesRituals of connectionEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.

Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…

A minuteShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:3

You did not choose which things hurt you. Where you are tender was set long before you had any say in it, and the only live question is what you do with it now.

This is worth saying out loud between two people, because each usually thinks their own soft spot is embarrassing and the other's is obvious. Try…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:54

Encourage one thing your spouse wants to try, and tell them you have got their back.

Go, I am here if it wobbles. A secure base is what lets someone venture out bravely.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeEmotionally focusedQur’an 5:2

When something hard lands, say it out loud: we will face this together.

Turn a my problem into an ours. Facing it as a team halves its weight.

A minuteShared spiritual lifeEmotionally focusedQur’an 9:71

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.