Practices

You get to choose when to face it. Deciding not now, to stay safe today, is a valid choice, not failure.

Timing is yours. Pausing the hard work to protect yourself is part of the work, not a retreat from it.

Notice where the fear sits in your body, the chest, the throat, the gut, and breathe gently toward it.

The body remembers what words forget. Meeting the sensation with breath, not judgement, begins to loosen it.

What happened to you is not who you are. Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love who was hurt.

Harm done to you is not a verdict on your worth. Trade the harsh inner voice for a kinder, truer one.

When trauma tells you that you are utterly alone and beyond help, treat that as the wound talking, not the truth. Do not despair.

A common voice in trauma says you are cast out, unreachable, beyond care. It feels total, but it is a symptom, not a fact, and acting against it,…

Wanting comfort when you are hurting is a built-in human need, not a weakness to be ashamed of. Let yourself ask.

The urge to seek closeness and reassurance in distress is wired into us from childhood. Honouring that need, rather than judging it, is part of how…

When the past floods in, name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch. Come back to now.

Grounding in your senses tells the mind the danger is memory, not present. The room is safe; you are here.

Breathe out longer than you breathe in, a few times. A slow breath tells the body it is safe.

You cannot argue a frightened body calm, but you can breathe it calm. Long, slow exhales do the talking.

When fear rises, being near a calm, safe person, or turning to God's remembrance, helps your body borrow that steadiness.

Our nervous systems settle in the presence of safety. A calm, attuned other, or a steadying practice of remembrance, sends the body cues of safety…

When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.

Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…

When you notice you are flooded, do one calming thing before any decision or hard conversation.

Do not negotiate from panic. Cool the body first, then think. The decision will still be there.