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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterMy husband or wife remove filterGetting ready for something remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 1Anger 1Low mood and hard feelings 1
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 1Five minutes 3Twenty minutes 3
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
A practitioner 83Me 64Someone I care about 62My husband or wife 3
Where you are right now · Getting ready for something
Coping, mostly 45Struggling right now 9Getting ready for something 3
On your own, or with someone
Both of us together 2On my own 1
Theme
Choosing your response 1Feelings and focus 1Shame 1
Approach
Gottman 1ADHD skills 1Emotionally focused 1
When
Coming and going 2Any ordinary day 1

Set the terms of a break while nobody is angry: what you will say, how long you will take, where you will go, and that you will not drive. Then it is a shared arrangement rather than something you do to the other person.

Leaving can be used as a weapon. Two days of silence, walking out while someone is crying, driving off into the night: all of that can wear the…

Twenty minutesChoosing your responseGottmanQur’an 3:159

When you cannot skip it, shorten it. Come for the meal and skip the drinks afterwards. Two hours of you at your best is worth more to everyone than five hours ending badly.

Decide the leaving time before you arrive and say it out loud on the way in, so that it is a plan rather than a walkout. Booking something afterwards…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusADHD skillsQur’an 25:63

A friend or a counsellor telling you that you are not a monster helps, and it only takes you so far. The shame usually sits with one particular person, and it eases most when that person hears the thing and stays.

So aim a disclosure carefully rather than widely. Choose the person the shame is actually about, pick a moment with room in it, and say the small…

Twenty minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 66:8

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.