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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

148 practices
A practitioner remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
Area
Anger 85Focus, starting, and ADHD 37Low mood and hard feelings 18Your body 4Worry and anxiety 4
How long you have
A minute 28Five minutes 100Twenty minutes 18Longer 2
Who it is written for · A practitioner
Me 183A practitioner 148My husband or wife 101Someone I care about 98
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 75Coping, mostly 73
On your own, or with someone
On my own 81Involves someone else 35Both of us together 32
Theme
What anger actually is 21Equanimity and perspective 14The fear underneath anger 12Feelings and focus 11Emotions as signals 9Cool the body first 9Choosing your response 7Screens and attention 6The moment before you snap 6Practising under provocation 6Tolerate distress 4Treatment and medication 4What ADHD actually is 3When you go numb 3Bringing the future closer 3Remembering to do it 3When anger turns to harm 3Shame and stigma 3Growing empathy 2Shame 2Your nervous system 2Making it stick 2Getting assessed and diagnosed 2The cost of avoiding 2Your sense of time 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Facing it a step at a time 1Grounding and settling 1Moving your body 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Breaking the worry loop 1What you are actually defending 1Use your strengths 1
Approach
Core 49ADHD skills 30CBT 18Mindfulness 15Emotionally focused 14Body based 12Medical and treatment 4DBT skills 3Trauma informed 2Gottman 1
When · After a row
Any ordinary day 1709Under stress 435After a row 148In a change 106Coming and going 73When apart 13Something good 1

Some anger fires when your image takes a knock: your child playing up in a shop, your name left off something, a correction in front of other people. What got punctured was the picture of yourself.

The tell is the phrase, said or unsaid, that this reflects badly on me. Managing the triggers will not help much, because they are endless and small.…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53

Being late on purpose, the joke with an edge, the job done just badly enough: that is anger at full strength, only sent by a quieter route.

People who do this often say honestly that they never get angry, and they believe it, because what they are picturing is shouting. The feeling is all…

Five minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 2:263

Anger feels righteous while it lasts. The useful moment comes later, when the regret shows up and the story has gone quiet.

Nobody changes course mid-shout, and pressing then only adds fuel. Hours or a day afterwards there is usually a stretch where a person is…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:87

Some anger arrives with an argument already inside it: that they disrespected you, that this is not how you are meant to be treated. It burns cooler than the sudden kind and it lasts much longer.

Because it is made of a story, it can be handled at the level of the story. What did that gesture actually mean. What would it mean if they were…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 5:8

Demanding respect quietly puts you below the person you are demanding it from. You are asking for something only they can hand over, which makes you the one in need.

That is an odd position for a stance meant to prove you will not be pushed around. To anyone watching it usually reads as need rather than strength.…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 28:83

Sourness, shutting down, snapping at everyone: these are as often worry as they are attitude. The person is not giving you a hard time, they are having one.

This matters because of what happens next. Read it as rudeness and the house responds with punishment, which adds to the load that produced the…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 41:36

Freezing is not something you decided on. It is what was left once the other options had gone.

A mouse does not try to charm a cat. It runs, and if it is caught it goes limp, and none of that is a considered plan. People ask themselves for…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7

If you start shaking or trembling after a fright, or partway through a difficult conversation, that is usually your body finishing something rather than falling apart.

Animals do it visibly. A creature that has been hunted and got away will shake hard for a while and then walk off as though nothing happened. In…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:3

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.