Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Emotions as signals A practitioner Under stress Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for · A practitioner

A practitioner 5 My husband or wife 5 Me 4

Where you are right now

Struggling right now 3 Coping, mostly 2

On your own, or with someone

On my own 3 Both of us together 1 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Emotions as signals

Cool the body first 31 Grounding and settling 30 The moment before you snap 28 Your nervous system 23 Choosing your response 23 Touch and bodywork 22 What anger actually is 20 The fear underneath anger 18 Feelings and focus 16 Equanimity and perspective 15 Breathing 10 The cost of avoiding 10 Systems for daily life 9 Feeling from the inside 9 Shame 8 Medication and how it works 8 Moving your body 8 Practising under provocation 8 Tolerate distress 8 Screens and attention 8 What worry does 7 Getting assessed and diagnosed 7 When anger turns to harm 6 Bringing the future closer 6 Making it stick 6 When everything feels flat 6 Shame and stigma 6 Breaking the worry loop 6 Facing it a step at a time 5 Treatment and medication 5 Food, caffeine and fuel 5 Emotions as signals 5 Letting it out safely 4 What you are actually defending 4 Get started 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Growing empathy 4 Obsessions and compulsions 4 Exercise, food and other supports 3 Being seen and judged 3 Righteous anger and perfectionism 3 Question the thought 3 Structure and routine 2 Treatment and medication 2 Your sense of time 2 Self-compassion 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 When you use something to cope 2 Remembering to do it 1 Rest and pacing 1 What ADHD actually is 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Panic and the body 1

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 13 After a row 9 Under stress 5 When apart 3

Every feeling comes with something it wants you to do. Catching the move before you make it is most of the skill.

Anger wants to push, fear wants to get out of the room, sadness wants to curl up, shame wants to disappear. None of that is wrong, and the trouble is…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:87

Point at the body. 'Your hands went up just then', or 'you put your head in your hands', gives a feeling something solid to stand on.

Feelings argued about in the abstract go round and round. A gesture you both just watched is much harder to dispute, and it opens a door: what was…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

If the size of the feeling does not match the size of what just happened, it is probably carrying something older into the room.

Feeling has no real sense of when. An old injury arrives in the present body with all its original force, which is why a small remark can flatten…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:84

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

When you are trying to reach a feeling, stay with the actual sentence that caused it rather than paraphrasing it into something milder.

She said you are too difficult. Said again, gently, it keeps the moment alive in the room instead of turning it into a memory being reported.…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.