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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
Shame remove filterMe remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
Who it is written for · Me
Me 2A practitioner 2My husband or wife 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 1Involves someone else 1
Theme · Shame
Staying regulated in conflict 28What anger actually is 20Repair after rupture 15Equanimity and perspective 13The fear underneath anger 12Feelings and focus 11Rebuilding trust 9Cool the body first 8Emotions as signals 7The moment before you snap 7Choosing your response 7Practising under provocation 6Remembering to do it 4Tolerate distress 4Shame and stigma 3What you are actually defending 2Your sense of time 2Shame 2Treatment and medication 2What ADHD actually is 2Your nervous system 2Making it stick 2Bringing the future closer 2When anger turns to harm 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Grounding and settling 1Fondness and admiration 1Affection and touch 1Facing it a step at a time 1Growing empathy 1Use your strengths 1Screens and attention 1When you go numb 1Moving your body 1Validate yourself and others 1Breaking the worry loop 1
When · After a row
Under stress 6Any ordinary day 5After a row 2

When you go blank or shut down under pressure, try meeting it with 'of course I did'. That response was learned somewhere it was needed, and it is still running long after the danger passed.

Put a place on it if you can. Whose house were you in when going quiet was the safest thing available? Naming where it came from does two things at…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:28

There is a real difference between not caring and not knowing how. A lot of what gets called failing at a relationship is simply a skill nobody ever taught you.

If you go blank when your partner cries, or answer hurt with logic, ask who ever showed you anything better. Probably nobody did. A gap like that can…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:7

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.