Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

17 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · When you use something to cope
Medication and how it works 132Your nervous system 85Systems for daily life 80Get started 68Food, caffeine and fuel 53Your sense of time 52The moment before you snap 49What anger actually is 48Moving your body 48Choosing your response 45Bringing the future closer 45Exercise, food and other supports 41Equanimity and perspective 36Screens and attention 35What ADHD actually is 33Grounding and settling 33Touch and bodywork 31The fear underneath anger 31Practising under provocation 30Getting assessed and diagnosed 30Feelings and focus 28Growing empathy 28Treatment and medication 28When everything feels flat 27Structure and routine 27Being seen and judged 24Breathing 23Cool the body first 23Shame and stigma 22Making it stick 21Knowing your partner 20Remembering to do it 20Treatment and medication 18When you use something to cope 17What worry does 17Shared spiritual life 16Breaking the worry loop 15Feeling from the inside 15Fondness and admiration 14Facing it a step at a time 13What you are actually defending 13Answering bids 12Staying regulated in conflict 11Tolerate distress 11Listening and understanding 10Righteous anger and perfectionism 10Obsessions and compulsions 10Posture and how you carry yourself 9Gratitude 9Emotions as signals 8Self-compassion 8Use your strengths 8Rituals of connection 7Affection and touch 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 6Rebuilding trust 5Shame 5When you go numb 3Rest and pacing 3Repair after rupture 3Living with uncertainty 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3The cost of avoiding 3Get it out of your head 2Meaning after harm 2Face it gently 2Work with your brain 2Act on your values 2When anger turns to harm 2Keep the bond 2Find meaning 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Your window of tolerance 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Panic and the body 1Safety and grounding 1
Approach
When · Any ordinary day

Not feeling sleepy is not the same as not being affected. Younger drinkers often stay awake through a great deal more than their body is actually handling.

The tiredness that ends an older person's night arrives much later, so the evening runs on and the amount climbs with it. Which is why a limit has to…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 7:31

A tablet is not safer because of where it started out. Taken by someone it was never prescribed for, it is simply an unprescribed drug.

Borrowed stimulants get treated as harmless because a doctor's name is on the box somewhere. The dose was worked out for another person's body and…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:168

Whatever you reach for is probably doing something real for you. Naming that job honestly gets you further than calling yourself weak.

Researchers take the relief seriously enough to study the same receptor systems as possible medicines, which tells you it was never imaginary. So ask…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:219

If you smoked or drank during a pregnancy and have spent years holding yourself responsible for how your child turned out, you are allowed to put some of that down.

The picture is genuinely tangled. The same traits run in families, so a parent is both more likely to pass something on and more likely to have been…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:54

Repetition is what makes anything stick, and it does not check whether the thing is good for you. That is most of what addiction is.

It is the same machinery that lets somebody pick up a language or a trade, running in the part of the brain built for wanting rather than the part…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 91:8

Drink can make talking easy and still leave you with friendships that feel like nothing. Worth noticing which of those two you actually came for.

One young woman put it plainly: drinking took away the worry about what she was saying, and the people she grew close to were mostly the ones she…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 5:91

Distant health warnings move almost nobody. The cost that lands is the one showing up this month: your memory, your marks, the work you know you could be doing.

So keep it specific and keep it near. Heavy drinking in the teens and early twenties shows up in memory and in school work, which is the exact ground…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 17:26

The fog after cannabis is not gone by morning. In younger users learning can stay dulled for several days, so Saturday night is still in the room on Wednesday.

That changes what to look at. Rather than arguing about the night itself, keep a rough note of the days that follow: what got read, what stayed in,…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 59:19

Nicotine looks like the small problem next to everything else going on, and it is the one most likely to still be here in thirty years.

Most adults who smoke started as teenagers, and the earlier the start the harder the eventual stopping tends to be. So it earns a place on the list…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 24:21

There are medicines that make stopping smoking easier, and one of them can sometimes cover a mood or attention problem at the same time. That is a fair thing to ask a doctor about.

All of them carry side effects, so the conversation is a weighing up rather than a yes or no. Go in with what you already know about yourself: how…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 5:87

When someone keeps doing the risky thing after every explanation, the missing piece is usually not information. The pull is simply louder than the knowledge.

Which means another lecture is mostly wasted breath, while changing what is within reach is not. Fewer bottles in the house, a route home that avoids…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 45:23

If a young person is using regularly, waiting to see whether they grow out of it is a gamble. Help early is nearly always cheaper than help later.

Families often hold off because raising it feels like an accusation. You can raise it without one: say what you have noticed, say you are not going…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:195

Sometimes the drinking or the smoking is not the first problem at all. It is somebody's own treatment for an attention difficulty or an anxiety nobody has looked at yet.

You can usually tell from what it is used for: to speak in a group, to sit still long enough to work, to sleep. Where that is the shape of it, work…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 13:11

Draw your own chart of the moment you usually give in, with the questions you actually ask yourself, and put it where you will see it.

One woman smoking around ten bowls a day made hers as a set of branches: is it a working day, have I been to work, are the errands done, are the…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 16:67

Set small rewards for staying off it and let them grow the longer you go, so the next one is always near and a slip costs something you can feel.

A vague future benefit competes badly with something available right now. A jar you add to daily, a treat at day three and a bigger one at day ten, a…

LongerWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 79:40

If the language of a recovery group puts you off, that is a reason to look for a different group, not a reason to decide that help is not for you.

Programmes vary a lot in how they talk. Some lean on surrender to a higher power, others are built around self-management and practical tools, and…

LongerWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 29:69

The useful part is not the chart on the wall. It is that the person could think of things to do instead, and that took months of quiet work to arrive at.

Someone else's list of alternatives will not hold, because they thought of theirs and you did not. Build yours slowly, adding what has genuinely…

LongerWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 29:69

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.