Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

Growing empathy Me Under stress Clear all

How long you have

A minute 1 Five minutes 2 Longer 1

Who it is written for · Me

Me 4 A practitioner 4 Someone I care about 2

Where you are right now

Struggling right now 3 Coping, mostly 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 3 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Growing empathy

The moment before you snap 32 Cool the body first 30 Grounding and settling 29 Choosing your response 28 Touch and bodywork 22 Staying regulated in conflict 20 Your nervous system 19 What anger actually is 18 The fear underneath anger 15 Equanimity and perspective 15 Feelings and focus 12 Tolerate distress 11 Breathing 10 Systems for daily life 9 Answering bids 9 Moving your body 8 Practising under provocation 8 Feeling from the inside 8 Medication and how it works 7 What worry does 7 Shame 6 Breaking the worry loop 6 Making it stick 6 Bringing the future closer 6 Affection and touch 6 What you are actually defending 5 Food, caffeine and fuel 5 Knowing your partner 5 When everything feels flat 5 Question the thought 5 Treatment and medication 5 Shame and stigma 4 Getting assessed and diagnosed 4 Letting it out safely 4 Growing empathy 4 Emotions as signals 4 Get started 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Name what you feel 3 Listening and understanding 3 Exercise, food and other supports 3 Working with anger 3 Facing it a step at a time 3 Calm the body 3 Let the wave come 3 Righteous anger and perfectionism 3 Safety and grounding 3 Screens and attention 3 The cost of avoiding 3 Being seen and judged 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Rebuild trust 2 When anger turns to harm 2 When you use something to cope 2 Meaning after harm 2 Patience and trust 2 Ride the urge 2 Self-compassion 2 Your sense of time 2 Your window of tolerance 1 What ADHD actually is 1 Validate yourself and others 1 Treatment and medication 1 Structure and routine 1 Shared spiritual life 1 Rest and pacing 1 Repair after rupture 1 Remembering to do it 1 Act on your values 1 Panic and the body 1 Listen to the body 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1

Approach

Medical and treatment 2 Body based 1 CBT 1

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 28 Under stress 4 When apart 1 After a row 1

When you are already angry, imagining your way into someone else's head asks the tired part of you to do the heavy lifting. Start with your body instead: look at their face, let your breathing and your shoulders come closer to theirs.

Perspective taking is a fine skill on a calm day. In the middle of a row it tends to slide into arguing with a version of the other person you have…

A minuteGrowing empathyBody basedQur’an 9:128

Time alone can be a good idea or a dangerous one, and the difference is what sits underneath it. If you are already low, already dodging people, or drinking on your own, a plan to see fewer people is the wrong plan.

Ask honestly which one this is. Stepping back from a crowded, quarrelsome week is one thing. Disappearing because you cannot face anybody is another,…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 93:10

Underneath both versions sits the same small dread: somebody being displeased with you. That is the thing to practise surviving, and it does get easier.

Start where it is cheap. Send back the wrong order. Say you would rather not, once, to a person who will be mildly annoyed and nothing worse. Sit…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 7:156

If you are around people constantly and falling out with them constantly, a quiet weekend on your own may do more for your temper than any conversation will.

Company loses its flavour when there is never a break in it, and irritation fills the gap. A deliberate stretch alone, a day or a weekend, lets you…

LongerGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 28:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.