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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

380 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterMe remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 173Your body 71Anger 54Your marriage 28Low mood and hard feelings 27Worry and anxiety 23Grief and loss 2After harm 2
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 750Five minutes 1182Twenty minutes 380Longer 143
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 425Me 380Someone I care about 304My husband or wife 57
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 218Struggling right now 98Getting ready for something 64
On your own, or with someone
On my own 253Involves someone else 83Both of us together 44
Theme
Systems for daily life 38Medication and how it works 26Moving your body 24Get started 17Feelings and focus 14Your nervous system 14What ADHD actually is 13Treatment and medication 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Your sense of time 10What anger actually is 9Screens and attention 9Bringing the future closer 9Getting assessed and diagnosed 8The moment before you snap 8Shared spiritual life 7Touch and bodywork 6The fear underneath anger 6Cool the body first 6Grounding and settling 6Tolerate distress 6Facing it a step at a time 5Breaking the worry loop 5Exercise, food and other supports 5When you use something to cope 5Shame 5Breathing 5Staying regulated in conflict 5Emotions as signals 5Growing empathy 4Choosing your response 4Being seen and judged 4Rituals of connection 4Repair after rupture 4Remembering to do it 4Use your strengths 3The cost of avoiding 3Rebuilding trust 3What worry does 3When everything feels flat 3Shame and stigma 3Knowing your partner 3Anger, alcohol and the body 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Equanimity and perspective 3Practising under provocation 3When anger turns to harm 2Answering bids 2Posture and how you carry yourself 2Making it stick 2Structure and routine 2Letting it out safely 2Feeling from the inside 2Keep the bond 1What you are actually defending 1Living with uncertainty 1Treatment and medication 1Safety and grounding 1Rest and pacing 1Question the thought 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1
Approach
ADHD skills 121Medical and treatment 84Body based 42CBT 36Core 31Gottman 24Mindfulness 11Emotionally focused 10Trauma informed 8DBT skills 6Grief 4Narrative 3
When
Any ordinary day 281Under stress 41In a change 21After a row 20Coming and going 12When apart 3Something good 2

If a health habit keeps sliding, attach something immediate to it. The apps where you put real money on hitting a step target work for a reason: the payoff arrives now instead of in twenty years.

The natural reward for walking more is invisible and decades away, which is no use to a brain running on what happens next. A small stake, a streak,…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 52:19

Stress unsettles the gut and an unsettled gut drags on mood, so the two keep each other going. The good news buried in that is you can step in from either end.

You do not have to establish which came first. Easing the pressure on your nervous system helps digestion, steadying what you eat helps mood, and…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:168

Before settling on a purely psychological account of months of anxiety or broken sleep, it is worth having the ordinary bloods done. Low iron, low vitamin D or low magnesium can produce symptoms that look exactly like a mental health problem.

This is not about swapping therapy for supplements. It is about not spending a year working on something a blood test could have partly explained. If…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 80:24

A child struggling with attention, anxiety and daily reflux at once may be dealing with one problem wearing three coats. Undiagnosed coeliac disease and other food reactions can produce all of it, and the gut symptom is the clue worth following.

Symptoms that arrive together are worth asking about together. If reading, mood and stomach all went wrong over the same period, that pattern is…

Twenty minutesFood, caffeine and fuelMedical and treatmentQur’an 5:87

When all you can say is that something happened and you went off, take it apart in five pieces: what set it off, how you read it, what your body did, what you made it mean, and what you wanted to do next.

Written out on paper it usually stops being a blur. You often find the trigger was small and the meaning was enormous, or that your body was already…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:7

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

Emptying the feeling out at somebody does not shift it, and being told what to do instead skips over it. What changes things is feeling it with someone who stays.

You can tell the difference from the inside. Venting has a rehearsed quality, the same phrases coming round again with the heat kept up. Advice…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:83

Take one episode from this week and give it five lines: what set it off, how you read it, what happened in your body, what you took it to mean, and what you wanted to do.

Doing this with an actual event, rather than in general, is what makes it useful. Keep the lines short and resist tidying them into something more…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

You cannot taste food you are eating fast. Feeling works the same way, so slow the pace until there is something to actually notice.

In practice that means one sentence at a time, with a pause after it, and questions like what happened in you just then. Both of you will want to…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 13:28

You cannot decide to feel closer to people. You can decide to eat with them, walk with them, sit near them and say one true thing, and the closeness tends to follow.

The chemistry gets talked about a great deal and it is the least useful part. What you can act on is the diary: a standing meal with someone, a hand…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 30:21

Go long enough without company and almost anyone will do. That is worth knowing about yourself, and worth watching for in someone who lives alone.

Loneliness does not make you a poor judge of character on purpose. It just lowers the bar until whoever turns up seems fine. The steadier answer is…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:8

Four ordinary things take the edge off a hot temper: being touched by someone you trust, eating with people, moving your body hard enough to breathe, and sitting still for a few minutes a day.

None of them are about anger directly, which is the point. Exercise lowers what you are already carrying before the argument starts. A shared meal…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 76:8

If eating together helps, it is the together that is helping. Being full is not a route to feeling close, and treating it as one goes wrong quickly for some people.

Sit down with somebody once a week and eat whatever you were going to eat anyway. That is the whole practice. If you notice yourself reaching for…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:14

The aim is not to become someone with no force in them. It is to get a harness on the force and point it at something worth doing.

Anger usually knows something true: this was unfair, this matters to me, this cannot carry on. Keep that part and drop the delivery. The energy can…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 12:86

Look back at a fight you went out of your way to have and pride is often what was driving. Being right and being respected feel like needs in the moment, and they cost far more than they return.

This changes what there is to work on. Breathing exercises will not touch a fight you are having in order to prove you are somebody. The question…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveCoreQur’an 28:88

The real skill is not spotting the hole in their reasoning. It is running the same test on the belief you hold most tightly.

Pick something you are sure of, something you would defend at a family dinner, and ask what it would look like if it were only mostly true. Where…

Twenty minutesEquanimity and perspectiveMindfulnessQur’an 53:39

Give the anger a room rather than a target. Music up loud, walk fast, dance badly, shake your arms out until something in you settles.

Some children's grief centres keep a padded room where a child can go in and move however they need to, with nothing to hit and nothing to break.…

Twenty minutesLetting it out safelyGriefQur’an 10:12

Write the exact thing you are furious about on a paper plate, tape it to the wall, and throw wet cotton balls at it. It sounds childish, and it does more than swinging at nothing.

Half the good of it is in the writing. Vague anger has to become a sentence before it can go on the plate, and reading that sentence back usually…

Twenty minutesLetting it out safelyGriefQur’an 38:41

A ladder worth climbing has six things: real steps, built with you rather than for you, in your own words, a first rung that is genuinely easy, your hand on the pace throughout, and practice often enough to add up.

Most ladders come apart for dull reasons. The bottom rung was somebody else's idea of easy. The wording came out of a manual. Nobody said you were…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 84:19

When something frightens you the mind offers one option: do not go. Force out two or three more before judging any of them, daft ones included. Choosing needs something to choose between.

There is an order that works. Say what the problem actually is, in one sentence. List some options without weighing them yet. Then go through what is…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 12:87

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.