Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

22 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · When you use something to cope
Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89The moment before you snap 88Choosing your response 81Get started 73Grounding and settling 67Equanimity and perspective 66Moving your body 63Cool the body first 61Staying regulated in conflict 60Food, caffeine and fuel 59Feelings and focus 58The fear underneath anger 58Bringing the future closer 58Your sense of time 58Touch and bodywork 56Getting assessed and diagnosed 50What ADHD actually is 48Practising under provocation 46Exercise, food and other supports 46When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 42Screens and attention 40Breathing 34Growing empathy 34Being seen and judged 30Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 30Structure and routine 28Remembering to do it 26Tolerate distress 26Knowing your partner 25What worry does 25Treatment and medication 25Answering bids 24Feeling from the inside 23Breaking the worry loop 23What you are actually defending 23When you use something to cope 22Emotions as signals 22Repair after rupture 19Facing it a step at a time 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Obsessions and compulsions 14Rituals of connection 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Shame 13Listening and understanding 13Posture and how you carry yourself 13Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Use your strengths 10Gratitude 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8The cost of avoiding 7Living with uncertainty 5When anger turns to harm 5When you go numb 5Rest and pacing 5Safety and grounding 4Meaning after harm 4Letting it out safely 4Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Panic and the body 3Hold a boundary 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Help someone grieving 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Validate yourself and others 2Get it out of your head 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Ask and say no well 2Keep the bond 2
Approach
When

Not feeling sleepy is not the same as not being affected. Younger drinkers often stay awake through a great deal more than their body is actually handling.

The tiredness that ends an older person's night arrives much later, so the evening runs on and the amount climbs with it. Which is why a limit has to…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 7:31

A tablet is not safer because of where it started out. Taken by someone it was never prescribed for, it is simply an unprescribed drug.

Borrowed stimulants get treated as harmless because a doctor's name is on the box somewhere. The dose was worked out for another person's body and…

A minuteWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:168

If stopping has been harder for you than it seems to be for other people, that is worth taking seriously rather than reading as a flaw in your character.

Some people are working against more than a habit. The thing they are giving up was quietly doing a job for them, holding attention steady or keeping…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:28

Whatever you reach for is probably doing something real for you. Naming that job honestly gets you further than calling yourself weak.

Researchers take the relief seriously enough to study the same receptor systems as possible medicines, which tells you it was never imaginary. So ask…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:219

If you smoked or drank during a pregnancy and have spent years holding yourself responsible for how your child turned out, you are allowed to put some of that down.

The picture is genuinely tangled. The same traits run in families, so a parent is both more likely to pass something on and more likely to have been…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:54

If telling your doctor or midwife what you are using feels impossible, you can ask someone you already trust to pass it on for you, with your permission and in your words.

People often stay quiet with the very clinician who could help, because saying it out loud feels heavier than the problem does. Handing the message…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 9:104

Most people can tell you exactly why the thing is a bad idea. The trouble arrives later, when feeling is running high and all that reasoning is nowhere to be found.

So treat it as a doing problem rather than a knowing problem. Decisions made calmly and in advance travel into hard moments much better than…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 12:33

Repetition is what makes anything stick, and it does not check whether the thing is good for you. That is most of what addiction is.

It is the same machinery that lets somebody pick up a language or a trade, running in the part of the brain built for wanting rather than the part…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 91:8

Drink can make talking easy and still leave you with friendships that feel like nothing. Worth noticing which of those two you actually came for.

One young woman put it plainly: drinking took away the worry about what she was saying, and the people she grew close to were mostly the ones she…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 5:91

Distant health warnings move almost nobody. The cost that lands is the one showing up this month: your memory, your marks, the work you know you could be doing.

So keep it specific and keep it near. Heavy drinking in the teens and early twenties shows up in memory and in school work, which is the exact ground…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 17:26

The fog after cannabis is not gone by morning. In younger users learning can stay dulled for several days, so Saturday night is still in the room on Wednesday.

That changes what to look at. Rather than arguing about the night itself, keep a rough note of the days that follow: what got read, what stayed in,…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 59:19

With vaping the pull is often not the hit at all. It is knowing the thing is there in your pocket if you need it.

One fifteen year old described it exactly that way: the comfort was that she could, not that she did. If that is your pattern the work sits in two…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:268

Nicotine looks like the small problem next to everything else going on, and it is the one most likely to still be here in thirty years.

Most adults who smoke started as teenagers, and the earlier the start the harder the eventual stopping tends to be. So it earns a place on the list…

Five minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 24:21

There are medicines that make stopping smoking easier, and one of them can sometimes cover a mood or attention problem at the same time. That is a fair thing to ask a doctor about.

All of them carry side effects, so the conversation is a weighing up rather than a yes or no. Go in with what you already know about yourself: how…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 5:87

When someone keeps doing the risky thing after every explanation, the missing piece is usually not information. The pull is simply louder than the knowledge.

Which means another lecture is mostly wasted breath, while changing what is within reach is not. Fewer bottles in the house, a route home that avoids…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 45:23

If a young person is using regularly, waiting to see whether they grow out of it is a gamble. Help early is nearly always cheaper than help later.

Families often hold off because raising it feels like an accusation. You can raise it without one: say what you have noticed, say you are not going…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 2:195

Sometimes the drinking or the smoking is not the first problem at all. It is somebody's own treatment for an attention difficulty or an anxiety nobody has looked at yet.

You can usually tell from what it is used for: to speak in a group, to sit still long enough to work, to sleep. Where that is the shape of it, work…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 13:11

Draw your own chart of the moment you usually give in, with the questions you actually ask yourself, and put it where you will see it.

One woman smoking around ten bowls a day made hers as a set of branches: is it a working day, have I been to work, are the errands done, are the…

Twenty minutesWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 16:67

Set small rewards for staying off it and let them grow the longer you go, so the next one is always near and a slip costs something you can feel.

A vague future benefit competes badly with something available right now. A jar you add to daily, a treat at day three and a bigger one at day ten, a…

LongerWhen you use something to copeMedical and treatmentQur’an 79:40

If cutting down has failed over and over, that is information rather than a verdict on you. For some people the workable goal turns out to be none rather than less.

Starting young makes this more likely, and the earlier the heavy use began the harder the road back to casual use tends to be. Nobody enjoys hearing…

LongerWhen you use something to copeDBT skillsQur’an 5:90

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.