Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

19 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Structure and routine
Medication and how it works 91Staying regulated in conflict 60Systems for daily life 60Your nervous system 54What anger actually is 50Get started 47Equanimity and perspective 44Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Moving your body 42Bringing the future closer 41The fear underneath anger 39Your sense of time 34Feelings and focus 32Touch and bodywork 31Exercise, food and other supports 28Growing empathy 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 25Knowing your partner 25When everything feels flat 24Grounding and settling 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24Answering bids 24Practising under provocation 22Treatment and medication 22Screens and attention 20What ADHD actually is 20Repair after rupture 19Cool the body first 19What you are actually defending 19Structure and routine 19Breathing 18Being seen and judged 18Making it stick 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17What worry does 15Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 15Treatment and medication 15Emotions as signals 14Breaking the worry loop 13Remembering to do it 13Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Shame and stigma 12Feeling from the inside 12Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Tolerate distress 9When you use something to cope 9Gratitude 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Facing it a step at a time 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Let the wave come 3When anger turns to harm 3Calm the body 3Act on your values 3Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 2Ride the urge 2Ask and say no well 2Rest and pacing 2Patience and trust 2Your window of tolerance 2Obsessions and compulsions 2The cost of avoiding 2Listen to the body 2Work with your brain 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Help someone grieving 2Get it out of your head 2Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Shame 1

Whatever you estimate, add to it. Fifteen minutes is the figure you get at midnight with empty roads; at midday the same trip takes twenty five.

Do not try to estimate better, since accurate estimating is the thing that is hard. Use a rule you can apply without judgement instead: take your…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

When you book something, put everything into the entry there and then: the address, the phone number, what you have to bring. You will never have that information more easily to hand than at the moment of booking.

The alternative is standing on the pavement at ten to one, searching for which branch it was, with the insurance card at home. Booking is already a…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:238

The benefit comes from how often you touch it. Writing something in is a rehearsal, looking it up is a reminder, and by the time the day arrives you have met it so many times that nothing takes you by surprise.

Which is why a scruffy system used constantly beats an elegant one opened weekly. Give yourself a couple of fixed moments to look, first thing and…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 33:35

A three o'clock appointment half an hour away is a half past two appointment. Put the true start time in and let the calendar hold it, rather than asking yourself to work it out on the day.

Lateness usually comes from anchoring on the time printed on the letter and treating the journey as though it cost nothing. Writing the leaving time…

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 36:40

Attach a new habit to one you already do: after wudu, I read one page.

Let an existing routine carry the new thing. You are borrowing momentum you already have.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 31:19

Do the task at the same time and place each day, so the setting starts to do the reminding.

Novelty costs a mind like yours energy. Sameness of time and place buys that energy back.

A minuteStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

If a calendar feels like something parents and teachers made you carry, it stays theirs and you keep putting it down. The question worth answering is whose life gets easier when it works.

Most people who grew up being organised at have some resistance to this, and it makes sense. So make it yours in a literal way: it holds the things…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 20:130

Unless the dentist works in your living room, dentist at one is only half an entry. Block the getting there, the parking and the walking in, and block the journey home as well.

Travel disappears from planning because it does not feel like the task. Then the day gets built as though appointments touch each other end to end,…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 62:9

A system survives if it gives back more than it costs. Every time your diary saves you a phone call or a scramble, you have bought yourself a little more willingness to open it tomorrow.

So load it up on purpose. Put in the parking notes, the door code, the name of the person you are meeting, the thing you meant to ask them. None of…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 62:10

Plenty of people manage without any system at all. They tend to manage on adrenaline, late nights and a low hum of dread, which is a high price for an outcome that looks fine from outside.

When your results are acceptable, nobody asks what they cost you, and you may have stopped asking too. Worth checking honestly: how much of the week…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

Move things off the to do list and into the week itself. Not write the report, but Wednesday at one, ninety minutes, write the report.

An undated task has nothing to make it happen. It sits there competing with whatever is loud right now and loses every time. Giving it a day, a start…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

Once tasks sit in the week rather than on a list, you can see that Thursday has no room left. Saying no gets much easier when the crowding is in front of your eyes instead of somewhere in your head.

Holding several commitments in mind at once and weighing them against each other is genuinely hard. Looking at a full column and noticing there is…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 25:67

A schedule tells you what to do now. It does not make you want to do it, and pretending otherwise sets you up to feel let down when three o'clock comes and you stay sitting.

Even so, knowing is a good half of the problem solved, and it is the half that is hard to fix any other way. The other half needs its own tools:…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 39:9

Before planning anything, work out which date is actually true. Does Thursday mean Thursday, or does everybody know it means Friday, and is Thursday even possible?

Planning against a date you do not believe in is planning against nothing, and you will feel that in how little the plan moves you. Get the real one…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 30:18

When you set your own deadline, watch what happens to it. Thursday becomes Friday, Friday becomes Monday, and it helps to know what that slide actually costs rather than guessing at it.

Keep a light record for a few weeks. Three things only: the date you picked, the date it was done, and one line on what the gap cost you. Sometimes…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Anything with more than one step gets written down, and the child does the writing. Ten problems, check them against the answers, correct what is wrong: three lines in their own hand.

A handout would carry the same words, but writing it themselves does two extra things. It puts the sequence somewhere they can look again when step…

Five minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 73:6

A calendar that catches only some of your commitments is more dangerous than no calendar at all. You look at Thursday, see a clear afternoon, say yes, and only later meet the thing that never got written down.

So the first job is not a better app. It is one place where everything goes, without exception, including the small things you are certain you will…

Twenty minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Put the demanding work where the energy is, not where the timetable happens to be convenient. Then alternate it with something they like, and break it up often.

Effort runs down fast, so an hour of hard work in one block will give you good minutes at the start and very little after. Cut it into shorter runs…

Twenty minutesStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 17:78

Where you can, let the learning be something done rather than something sat through. Typing instead of writing, a calculator instead of longhand, a built model instead of an essay.

The knowledge is usually already there. What fails is showing it through a long, still, low feedback task, and that is the part worth redesigning.…

LongerStructure and routineADHD skillsQur’an 22:78

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.