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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

When you go numb Me Clear all

How long you have

A minute 1 Five minutes 4

Who it is written for · Me

A practitioner 7 My husband or wife 6 Me 5

Where you are right now

Struggling right now 4 Coping, mostly 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 4 Involves someone else 1

Theme · When you go numb

Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 73 Grounding and settling 67 Equanimity and perspective 66 Moving your body 63 Cool the body first 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 Feelings and focus 58 The fear underneath anger 58 Bringing the future closer 58 Your sense of time 58 Touch and bodywork 56 Getting assessed and diagnosed 50 What ADHD actually is 48 Practising under provocation 46 Exercise, food and other supports 46 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 42 Screens and attention 40 Breathing 34 Growing empathy 34 Shame and stigma 30 Being seen and judged 30 Making it stick 30 Structure and routine 28 Remembering to do it 26 Tolerate distress 26 Knowing your partner 25 Treatment and medication 25 What worry does 25 Answering bids 24 What you are actually defending 23 Feeling from the inside 23 Breaking the worry loop 23 Emotions as signals 22 When you use something to cope 22 Repair after rupture 19 Facing it a step at a time 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 Obsessions and compulsions 14 Rituals of connection 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Shame 13 Listening and understanding 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 The cost of avoiding 7 When you go numb 5 Rest and pacing 5 Living with uncertainty 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Letting it out safely 4 Safety and grounding 4 Meaning after harm 4 Let the wave come 3 Act on your values 3 Working with anger 3 Name what you feel 3 Panic and the body 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Calm the body 3 Ask and say no well 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Ride the urge 2 Get it out of your head 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Patience and trust 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Face it gently 2 Find meaning 2 Listen to the body 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Keep the bond 2

When

Any ordinary day 3 After a row 1 When apart 1

Ask what is happening in the body right now, in the moment it happens, rather than asking afterwards what the feeling was.

A shutdown is quickest to catch while it is switching on. The question that works is small and physical: what is happening in your chest, your…

A minuteWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 16:78

When someone says they feel nothing, find out where the nothing reaches. All the time, or only towards good things, or only here, in this conversation, when criticism is in the air?

The three answers point in quite different directions. Numb everywhere, day and night, is worth taking to a doctor. Numb to good things while the bad…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:37

If a medicine has taken the edge off everything, including the good things, that is worth raising with whoever prescribed it. Taking the sharpness out of pain is one thing. Feeling nothing at all is not a way to live.

It matters practically as well as personally. Anything you are trying to change, in a relationship or in yourself, needs some feeling to work with,…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 6:122

Going still and needing nothing is usually something a person worked out young, somewhere it was the sensible answer.

If reaching out met dismissal, or worse, then not reaching out is not a flaw of character. A child who stops asking, stops showing what they feel and…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 57:16

Pulling back makes you harder to reach, which makes people give up on reaching, which looks like proof that nobody was coming. The loop closes itself.

Being told to open up rarely breaks it, because opening up in one go is exactly the risk the whole strategy exists to prevent. What breaks it is…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.