Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Emotions as signals Someone I care about Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 3

Who it is written for · Someone I care about

A practitioner 13 My husband or wife 13 Me 8 Someone I care about 5

On your own, or with someone

Both of us together 3 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Emotions as signals

Medication and how it works 90 Systems for daily life 86 Your nervous system 66 Moving your body 55 Your sense of time 52 Exercise, food and other supports 52 What ADHD actually is 44 What anger actually is 41 Treatment and medication 34 Screens and attention 33 Bringing the future closer 32 Get started 29 Reading, numbers and learning differences 27 Structure and routine 27 Shame and stigma 24 What worry does 24 Equanimity and perspective 24 Grounding and settling 23 The cost of avoiding 22 Food, caffeine and fuel 22 The fear underneath anger 21 Breathing 19 Remembering to do it 18 Breaking the worry loop 16 When you use something to cope 15 What you are actually defending 14 Cool the body first 13 Making it stick 13 Growing empathy 12 Feelings and focus 12 The moment before you snap 12 Facing it a step at a time 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 9 Choosing your response 8 Self-compassion 7 Use your strengths 6 When everything feels flat 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Tolerate distress 5 Being seen and judged 5 Shame 5 Emotions as signals 5 When anger turns to harm 4 Obsessions and compulsions 4 Touch and bodywork 3 Getting assessed and diagnosed 2 Practising under provocation 2 Question the thought 2 Feeling from the inside 1 Rest and pacing 1

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 5 After a row 2 When apart 1

If someone is saying so much that you have lost the thread, stop them kindly and check. Sorry, that is a lot and it matters, can I say back what I have got so far.

It feels rude and it is usually received as the opposite, because it says the words were worth keeping. Listening while quietly drowning helps…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 8:24

When someone goes quiet and you can see they have gone inside, that is not your moment to help. Stay still and let the silence run.

You will feel the pull to summarise, to check they are alright, to bring the other person back in. All of it lands as an interruption. Give it a few…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

When someone pours out a lot at once, catch the two or three words carrying the weight and give those back to them, in order.

You said you felt cold in your own house, and like a nuisance. Nothing added, nothing solved. It sounds almost too simple, and it does the thing a…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:21

Let what they say land in you before you answer. The word that catches somewhere in your own chest is usually the live one.

Cold. Empty. A nuisance. Take each one for a second rather than sailing past it to the reply. Then give back the one that carried the charge, and you…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

When someone finally gets one true word out about how they feel, resist explaining it to them. Ask what that word is like from the inside and let them find the rest.

The temptation is to say the clever thing: of course you felt rejected, anyone would. It is often accurate and it usually ends the moment, because…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.