Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices

Shame After a row Clear all

Who it is written for

Me 2 A practitioner 2 My husband or wife 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 1 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Shame

Staying regulated in conflict 28 What anger actually is 22 Repair after rupture 15 Equanimity and perspective 14 The fear underneath anger 12 Feelings and focus 11 Rebuilding trust 9 Emotions as signals 9 Cool the body first 9 Choosing your response 7 The moment before you snap 7 Screens and attention 6 Practising under provocation 6 Remembering to do it 5 Treatment and medication 4 Tolerate distress 4 Your sense of time 3 When anger turns to harm 3 Bringing the future closer 3 When you go numb 3 Shame and stigma 3 What ADHD actually is 3 Your nervous system 2 Getting assessed and diagnosed 2 What you are actually defending 2 Shame 2 Growing empathy 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Making it stick 2 Fondness and admiration 1 Facing it a step at a time 1 Validate yourself and others 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Breaking the worry loop 1 Use your strengths 1 Affection and touch 1 Righteous anger and perfectionism 1 Moving your body 1 Grounding and settling 1

When · After a row

Under stress 8 Any ordinary day 7 Coming and going 2 After a row 2

When you go blank or shut down under pressure, try meeting it with 'of course I did'. That response was learned somewhere it was needed, and it is still running long after the danger passed.

Put a place on it if you can. Whose house were you in when going quiet was the safest thing available? Naming where it came from does two things at…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 4:28

There is a real difference between not caring and not knowing how. A lot of what gets called failing at a relationship is simply a skill nobody ever taught you.

If you go blank when your partner cries, or answer hurt with logic, ask who ever showed you anything better. Probably nobody did. A gap like that can…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:7

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.