Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Practising under provocation
Medication and how it works 22Get started 20Systems for daily life 20Bringing the future closer 17Structure and routine 16The moment before you snap 16Your nervous system 15Fondness and admiration 14Your sense of time 14Choosing your response 14Growing empathy 13Treatment and medication 13Knowing your partner 11Answering bids 11Staying regulated in conflict 10Gratitude 9Making it stick 9Food, caffeine and fuel 9Exercise, food and other supports 9What anger actually is 9Getting assessed and diagnosed 8Touch and bodywork 8Cool the body first 8Listening and understanding 8Moving your body 7Grounding and settling 7Breathing 7Screens and attention 7What ADHD actually is 7Feelings and focus 6Affection and touch 6When everything feels flat 6Remembering to do it 6Treatment and medication 5The cost of avoiding 5The fear underneath anger 5Shared spiritual life 5Equanimity and perspective 5Being seen and judged 5Shame and stigma 4Practising under provocation 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Feeling from the inside 3Emotions as signals 3When you use something to cope 3What worry does 3Self-compassion 3Question the thought 2Your worth is not conditional 2What you are actually defending 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Rebuilding trust 2Tolerate distress 2Facing it a step at a time 2Anger, alcohol and the body 1Shame 1Rituals of connection 1Repair after rupture 1Breaking the worry loop 1Panic and the body 1Keep the bond 1Get it out of your head 1Face it gently 1
When · Any ordinary day

Before you practise something exposing with someone, say out loud what is not at risk. I will not think less of you, and nothing between us changes here.

It sounds obvious and it does a great deal of work. If the relationship really is on the line, then the discomfort is not symbolic and no amount of…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 8:46

Call the practice whatever fits you. Stress inoculation, rolling with the punches, a Teflon mind, the art of not giving a damn: the name changes nothing about what you do, and a name you can stand makes you likelier to do it.

People come to this with different histories and some of them have been lectured before. If the language sounds like a self help poster to you, use…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 29:69

Be careful with the language about growing a thicker skin. Before anyone is asked to mind less, someone has to check that what they are minding really is only a slight.

Where the insults are discrimination, bullying or the run up to abuse, telling a person to toughen up is telling them to distrust an accurate reading…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 12:18

Treat these as experiments rather than instructions. You are not obeying a programme, you are finding out what happens, and that difference changes how it feels to do them.

People who are quick to anger are often also quick to bristle at being told what to do, and a challenge sits far better with that than a homework…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 3:200

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.