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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
Emotions as signals remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Five minutes 1Twenty minutes 2
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 5A practitioner 5Me 4
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 3Coping, mostly 2
On your own, or with someone
On my own 3Involves someone else 1Both of us together 1
Theme · Emotions as signals
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 31Grounding and settling 30Choosing your response 28Your nervous system 24Touch and bodywork 22Staying regulated in conflict 20What anger actually is 20The fear underneath anger 18Feelings and focus 16Equanimity and perspective 15Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10The cost of avoiding 10Feeling from the inside 9Answering bids 9Systems for daily life 9Shame 8Screens and attention 8Practising under provocation 8Medication and how it works 8Moving your body 8What worry does 7Getting assessed and diagnosed 7When everything feels flat 6Affection and touch 6When anger turns to harm 6Bringing the future closer 6Making it stick 6Shame and stigma 6Breaking the worry loop 6What you are actually defending 5Knowing your partner 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5Question the thought 5Emotions as signals 5Treatment and medication 5Facing it a step at a time 5Letting it out safely 4Obsessions and compulsions 4Growing empathy 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Get started 4Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Listening and understanding 3Being seen and judged 3Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Treatment and medication 2Ride the urge 2Self-compassion 2Your sense of time 2Structure and routine 2Patience and trust 2Meaning after harm 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2When you use something to cope 2Rebuild trust 2Anger, alcohol and the body 1Your window of tolerance 1What ADHD actually is 1Validate yourself and others 1Repair after rupture 1Panic and the body 1Shared spiritual life 1Remembering to do it 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1Act on your values 1Rest and pacing 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 13After a row 9Under stress 5When apart 3

Every feeling comes with something it wants you to do. Catching the move before you make it is most of the skill.

Anger wants to push, fear wants to get out of the room, sadness wants to curl up, shame wants to disappear. None of that is wrong, and the trouble is…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:87

Point at the body. 'Your hands went up just then', or 'you put your head in your hands', gives a feeling something solid to stand on.

Feelings argued about in the abstract go round and round. A gesture you both just watched is much harder to dispute, and it opens a door: what was…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

If the size of the feeling does not match the size of what just happened, it is probably carrying something older into the room.

Feeling has no real sense of when. An old injury arrives in the present body with all its original force, which is why a small remark can flatten…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:84

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

When you are trying to reach a feeling, stay with the actual sentence that caused it rather than paraphrasing it into something milder.

She said you are too difficult. Said again, gently, it keeps the moment alive in the room instead of turning it into a memory being reported.…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.