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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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4 practices
Growing empathy remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 1Five minutes 2Longer 1
Who it is written for
A practitioner 4Me 4Someone I care about 2
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 3Coping, mostly 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 3Involves someone else 1
Theme · Growing empathy
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 31Grounding and settling 30Choosing your response 28Your nervous system 24Touch and bodywork 22What anger actually is 20Staying regulated in conflict 20The fear underneath anger 18Feelings and focus 16Equanimity and perspective 15Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10The cost of avoiding 10Feeling from the inside 9Systems for daily life 9Answering bids 9Shame 8Medication and how it works 8Moving your body 8Practising under provocation 8Screens and attention 8Getting assessed and diagnosed 7What worry does 7Making it stick 6Breaking the worry loop 6Affection and touch 6Shame and stigma 6When everything feels flat 6Bringing the future closer 6When anger turns to harm 6Food, caffeine and fuel 5Facing it a step at a time 5What you are actually defending 5Question the thought 5Emotions as signals 5Knowing your partner 5Treatment and medication 5Obsessions and compulsions 4Get started 4Growing empathy 4Letting it out safely 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Calm the body 3Being seen and judged 3Safety and grounding 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Working with anger 3Name what you feel 3Listening and understanding 3Let the wave come 3Rebuild trust 2When you use something to cope 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Meaning after harm 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Self-compassion 2Your sense of time 2Structure and routine 2Treatment and medication 2Your window of tolerance 1What ADHD actually is 1Validate yourself and others 1Shared spiritual life 1Rest and pacing 1Repair after rupture 1Remembering to do it 1Act on your values 1Panic and the body 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1
Approach
Medical and treatment 2Body based 1CBT 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 29Under stress 4After a row 2When apart 1

When you are already angry, imagining your way into someone else's head asks the tired part of you to do the heavy lifting. Start with your body instead: look at their face, let your breathing and your shoulders come closer to theirs.

Perspective taking is a fine skill on a calm day. In the middle of a row it tends to slide into arguing with a version of the other person you have…

A minuteGrowing empathyBody basedQur’an 9:128

Time alone can be a good idea or a dangerous one, and the difference is what sits underneath it. If you are already low, already dodging people, or drinking on your own, a plan to see fewer people is the wrong plan.

Ask honestly which one this is. Stepping back from a crowded, quarrelsome week is one thing. Disappearing because you cannot face anybody is another,…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 93:10

Underneath both versions sits the same small dread: somebody being displeased with you. That is the thing to practise surviving, and it does get easier.

Start where it is cheap. Send back the wrong order. Say you would rather not, once, to a person who will be mildly annoyed and nothing worse. Sit…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 7:156

If you are around people constantly and falling out with them constantly, a quiet weekend on your own may do more for your temper than any conversation will.

Company loses its flavour when there is never a break in it, and irritation fills the gap. A deliberate stretch alone, a day or a weekend, lets you…

LongerGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 28:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.