Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

When you go numb Five minutes Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 1 Five minutes 6

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 6 A practitioner 6 Me 4

Where you are right now

Struggling right now 5 Coping, mostly 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 3 Both of us together 2 Involves someone else 1

Theme · When you go numb

Medication and how it works 111Your nervous system 73 What anger actually is 60 Getting assessed and diagnosed 59 Equanimity and perspective 44 Touch and bodywork 43 Systems for daily life 40 The moment before you snap 39 Exercise, food and other supports 39 Your sense of time 38 What ADHD actually is 37 Get started 35 When everything feels flat 35 Grounding and settling 35 Choosing your response 35 Screens and attention 31 Treatment and medication 31 Food, caffeine and fuel 30 Feelings and focus 29 The fear underneath anger 29 Practising under provocation 28 Bringing the future closer 27 Moving your body 24 Cool the body first 23 What worry does 23 Shame and stigma 20 Breathing 19 Emotions as signals 19 Feeling from the inside 17 Structure and routine 16 The cost of avoiding 16 What you are actually defending 16 Breaking the worry loop 15 Remembering to do it 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 15 Growing empathy 14 Being seen and judged 14 Facing it a step at a time 13 When you use something to cope 12 Treatment and medication 12 Making it stick 12 Obsessions and compulsions 11 Tolerate distress 11 Righteous anger and perfectionism 11 When anger turns to harm 9 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Rebuilding trust 9 Knowing your partner 8 Shame 7 Self-compassion 7 When you go numb 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 6 Listening and understanding 5 Question the thought 5 Shared spiritual life 4 Rituals of connection 3 Living with uncertainty 3 Use your strengths 3 Work with your brain 2 Panic and the body 2 Repair after rupture 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 2 Act on your values 2 Find meaning 2 Meaning after harm 2 Rest and pacing 2 Affection and touch 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Working with anger 1 Your worth is not conditional 1 Let the wave come 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Calm the body 1 Ask and say no well 1

When

Any ordinary day 3 After a row 2 When apart 1

When someone says they feel nothing, find out where the nothing reaches. All the time, or only towards good things, or only here, in this conversation, when criticism is in the air?

The three answers point in quite different directions. Numb everywhere, day and night, is worth taking to a doctor. Numb to good things while the bad…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:37

If a medicine has taken the edge off everything, including the good things, that is worth raising with whoever prescribed it. Taking the sharpness out of pain is one thing. Feeling nothing at all is not a way to live.

It matters practically as well as personally. Anything you are trying to change, in a relationship or in yourself, needs some feeling to work with,…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 6:122

The same sentence lands completely differently depending on who says it. If nothing stirs when it is described second hand, let the person it belongs to say it to you directly.

A therapist repeating what your partner said is information. Your partner turning to you and saying it, in their own voice, is an event. That is why…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 8:2

Rather than arguing with someone who says they feel nothing, say plainly what would ordinarily hurt about it. Hearing that the person you love is disappointed in you is a hard thing to hear.

Said warmly, this is not a challenge. It sets out what a person would usually feel and leaves them to notice the gap between that and what they are…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 15:97

Going still and needing nothing is usually something a person worked out young, somewhere it was the sensible answer.

If reaching out met dismissal, or worse, then not reaching out is not a flaw of character. A child who stops asking, stops showing what they feel and…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 57:16

Pulling back makes you harder to reach, which makes people give up on reaching, which looks like proof that nobody was coming. The loop closes itself.

Being told to open up rarely breaks it, because opening up in one go is exactly the risk the whole strategy exists to prevent. What breaks it is…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.