Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

22 practices

Answering bids A minute Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 22 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 22 Me 22

On your own, or with someone

On my own 13 Involves someone else 9

Theme · Answering bids

Staying regulated in conflict 46 The moment before you snap 39 Choosing your response 36 Cool the body first 34 Grounding and settling 28 What anger actually is 26 Your nervous system 25 Medication and how it works 25 Systems for daily life 24 Bringing the future closer 22 Answering bids 22 The fear underneath anger 22 Get started 20 Treatment and medication 18 Equanimity and perspective 17 Your sense of time 17 Structure and routine 16 Fondness and admiration 15 Knowing your partner 14 Practising under provocation 14 Growing empathy 14 Affection and touch 14 Making it stick 14 Touch and bodywork 13 Repair after rupture 13 Feelings and focus 12 Getting assessed and diagnosed 11 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 When everything feels flat 9 The cost of avoiding 9 Moving your body 9 Exercise, food and other supports 9 Breathing 9 Gratitude 9 Listening and understanding 8 Tolerate distress 8 Being seen and judged 8 Treatment and medication 8 What ADHD actually is 8 Screens and attention 7 Remembering to do it 7 Rituals of connection 6 Shame and stigma 6 Shared spiritual life 6 What worry does 6 What you are actually defending 6 Feeling from the inside 5 Shame 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Emotions as signals 5 Self-compassion 4 Question the thought 4 Safety and grounding 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Facing it a step at a time 3 Name what you feel 3 When you use something to cope 3 Breaking the worry loop 2 Your worth is not conditional 2 Hold a boundary 2 Ride the urge 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Patience and trust 2 Panic and the body 2 Calm the body 2 Notice the pattern and flex 2 Meaning after harm 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Let the wave come 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Working with anger 2 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Keep the bond 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Listen to the body 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 When you go numb 1 Ask and say no well 1 Act on your values 1 Rest and pacing 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 10 Core 7 Gottman 5

When

Any ordinary day 11 Under stress 8 Something good 3

Before you respond, say back what you heard them mean.

Being understood, even before being agreed with, settles almost everything.

A minuteAnswering bidsCoreQur’an 42:38

When your partner is up against something, take their side: this is our problem, we will face it together.

Even if you see the other side, do not side with the enemy against your partner. Stand with them first.

A minuteAnswering bidsGottmanQur’an 9:71

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.