Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

13 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Get started
Staying regulated in conflict 46Choosing your response 25Answering bids 22The fear underneath anger 18Medication and how it works 18The moment before you snap 17Bringing the future closer 17Fondness and admiration 15Your nervous system 15Knowing your partner 14Affection and touch 14Equanimity and perspective 14What anger actually is 13Systems for daily life 13Get started 13Repair after rupture 13Cool the body first 12Your sense of time 12Growing empathy 12Treatment and medication 11Structure and routine 10Gratitude 9Grounding and settling 9Feelings and focus 8When everything feels flat 8Listening and understanding 8Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Moving your body 7Exercise, food and other supports 6Making it stick 6Remembering to do it 6Rituals of connection 6Shared spiritual life 6Touch and bodywork 6Emotions as signals 5Being seen and judged 5What you are actually defending 5Screens and attention 5Rebuilding trust 5Treatment and medication 4Shame and stigma 4Breathing 4Food, caffeine and fuel 4Practising under provocation 4Tolerate distress 4Safety and grounding 3The cost of avoiding 3Self-compassion 3What ADHD actually is 3Question the thought 3What worry does 3Name what you feel 3When you use something to cope 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Let the wave come 2Shame 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2When anger turns to harm 2Hold a boundary 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Your worth is not conditional 2Facing it a step at a time 2Calm the body 2Meaning after harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Feeling from the inside 1Act on your values 1Face it gently 1Keep the bond 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Ask and say no well 1Care for yourself in loss 1Panic and the body 1Help someone grieving 1Your window of tolerance 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Breaking the worry loop 1Listen to the body 1Get it out of your head 1

Rest a hand on your forehead for a second and ask where your attention is actually pointing right now. Not where it ought to be, just where it is.

Attention drifts quietly, so twenty minutes can go without you ever deciding anything. A small physical gesture gives the question something to hook…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:114

Before you decide, stop and picture Thursday twice: once having done a bit of this today, once not. Let both of them land properly.

The comparison is what does the work. A single imagined outcome is easy to shrug off, but holding the two side by side makes the cost of waiting…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 57:21

Take half a minute and see Thursday night in detail, both versions: the one where you did some of this today, and the one where you did not.

Knowing about a deadline does almost nothing. Feeling it does the work, and feeling arrives through detail. The lamp still on, what is open on the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 84:6

Ask a friend to be the person who knows. Send them a line on the days you went, with no reply needed. Being known about today is what does the work.

It only helps if you set it up yourself and say exactly what you want, otherwise it slips into being nagged. Keep it small and specific: one line,…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

I will remember that. I can do it later. I will work better after I have just checked my email. Three sentences that cost most of us a great deal.

Each one is true occasionally, which is precisely why it survives. You did remember something once, and you were productive after a snack that one…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 51:50

The good news is that most of us only run three or four of these. A short list is something you can genuinely keep an eye on.

Notice your distortions is far too big an instruction to follow. Three named sentences in your own words is not. Write them on a card, keep it where…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 17:19

Next time you tell yourself you will remember it, ask what you would bet on that. A month's rent, for or against. The answer usually arrives before you have finished asking.

Turning a comfortable belief into a wager makes its odds obvious, and it does it without a row. Keep it light and a bit silly, because the point is…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 53:39

When you finish the dull task, give yourself something you actually like. A reward you do not really want does no work at all.

Choose it before you start and make it specific: the good coffee rather than whatever is in the cupboard, half an hour of the thing you keep…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 16:97

When you get something hard done, resist waving it off with "anyone could have done that". Let it count.

That reflex is common in people who have spent years falling short of what they meant to do, and it quietly cancels the good of finishing. Try the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 17:19

There is a sort of avoidance that looks like getting things done. Sorting the drawer, clearing the inbox, any mildly useful job that is not the one you are dreading.

It is harder to catch than obvious time wasting because it leaves you nothing to feel guilty about. At the end of the day the shelf is tidy, the…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 18:23

Rather than asking whether what you are doing is worthwhile, ask what it is keeping you away from.

The first question is too easy to pass. Almost anything you are doing can be defended as useful, which is why it never catches you out. The second…

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 3:159

Shrink the first step until it takes two minutes, and do only that.

The wall is usually the size of the first step, not the whole task. Make the step tiny enough to fall over.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 87:8

Do not wait to feel ready. Say Musa's prayer, ease my task, and take one step; the wish to go on comes after.

Motivation usually follows action, not the other way round. Start badly if you must, but start.

A minuteGet startedADHD skillsQur’an 20:26

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.