Inshirahone small thing, well grounded
GuidesPracticesAboutGet help nowInshirah Academy

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices
Tolerate distress remove filterA minute remove filterClear all
How long you have · A minute
A minute 8Five minutes 11Twenty minutes 6Longer 2
Who it is written for
A practitioner 7Someone I care about 7Me 7
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 4Coping, mostly 4
On your own, or with someone
On my own 7Involves someone else 1
Theme · Tolerate distress
Staying regulated in conflict 46The moment before you snap 39Choosing your response 36Cool the body first 34Grounding and settling 28What anger actually is 26Your nervous system 25Medication and how it works 25Systems for daily life 24Bringing the future closer 22The fear underneath anger 22Answering bids 22Get started 20Treatment and medication 18Equanimity and perspective 17Your sense of time 17Structure and routine 16Fondness and admiration 15Practising under provocation 14Growing empathy 14Making it stick 14Knowing your partner 14Affection and touch 14Repair after rupture 13Touch and bodywork 13Feelings and focus 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Getting assessed and diagnosed 11Moving your body 9Exercise, food and other supports 9Breathing 9When everything feels flat 9The cost of avoiding 9Gratitude 9Treatment and medication 8What ADHD actually is 8Listening and understanding 8Being seen and judged 8Tolerate distress 8Screens and attention 7Remembering to do it 7What worry does 6What you are actually defending 6Shared spiritual life 6Rituals of connection 6Shame and stigma 6Feeling from the inside 5Emotions as signals 5Shame 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Rebuilding trust 5Self-compassion 4Question the thought 4Name what you feel 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Facing it a step at a time 3When you use something to cope 3Safety and grounding 3When anger turns to harm 2Notice the pattern and flex 2Panic and the body 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Let the wave come 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Hold a boundary 2Validate yourself and others 2Working with anger 2Breaking the worry loop 2Your worth is not conditional 2Calm the body 2Meaning after harm 2Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Your window of tolerance 1Help someone grieving 1Keep the bond 1Care for yourself in loss 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Listen to the body 1Rest and pacing 1When you go numb 1Ask and say no well 1Act on your values 1Get it out of your head 1
Approach
DBT skills 5Body based 2Mindfulness 1
When
Under stress 4Any ordinary day 2After a row 2

Tell yourself the true thing: this feeling is real, and it is temporary. No state lasts. Ride it out.

You do not have to fix it right now. You only have to outlast it. Feelings crest and fall like weather.

A minuteTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:5

Wise mind is not a calmer version of you. It is the state where what you feel and what you have thought through are both in the room, and neither has thrown the other out.

In practice it means you can feel the heat in your chest and still choose the next sentence. Neither half is the enemy: pure logic talks you out of…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 12:18

Anger tells you to say the thing. Fear tells you to leave. You can feel all of it and still not do what it asks, and that gap is the whole skill.

Try naming the urge in your head as it arrives: this is the urge to send the message. Named, it stops being the only available next step and becomes…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 42:43

Let your face go. Unclench the jaw, let the lips lift very slightly, and let the loosening carry back through your head and shoulders.

You are not pretending to be happy and nobody has to see it. The face holds a lot of the tension of a bad state, and it is one of the few parts you…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 10:12

Let your hands fall open, palms up, on your lap or at your sides, and breathe there for a minute. It is oddly hard to stay in full fight with open hands.

Anger lives in the grip as much as anywhere. Opening the hands removes one part of what the body is preparing to do, and the rest of the system tends…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 70:5

You are allowed to put something down. Put it down with a time to pick it up again: Thursday morning, with my therapist, not tonight.

Without the appointment, setting it aside quietly turns into never touching it, and the thing keeps all its power by never being looked at. With the…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 20:130

Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.

Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 52:48

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.