Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Staying regulated in conflict Twenty minutes Clear all

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 46 Five minutes 9 Twenty minutes 5

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 5 Me 5

Theme · Staying regulated in conflict

Systems for daily life 38 Medication and how it works 30 Moving your body 26 Treatment and medication 19 Screens and attention 18 Getting assessed and diagnosed 17 What ADHD actually is 17 Get started 17 Feelings and focus 16 The cost of avoiding 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Your nervous system 14 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 Your sense of time 10 Exercise, food and other supports 10 What anger actually is 10 Bringing the future closer 9 Touch and bodywork 8 The moment before you snap 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Tolerate distress 6 Breaking the worry loop 6 The fear underneath anger 6 Grounding and settling 6 Cool the body first 6 Emotions as signals 6 Shame 6 When everything feels flat 5 Breathing 5 When you use something to cope 5 Shame and stigma 5 Remembering to do it 5 Facing it a step at a time 5 Staying regulated in conflict 5 Choosing your response 4 What worry does 4 Repair after rupture 4 Righteous anger and perfectionism 4 Rituals of connection 4 Being seen and judged 4 When anger turns to harm 4 Growing empathy 4 Making it stick 3 Practising under provocation 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Structure and routine 3 Equanimity and perspective 3 Use your strengths 3 Anger, alcohol and the body 3 Knowing your partner 3 Feeling from the inside 2 Posture and how you carry yourself 2 Answering bids 2 Letting it out safely 2 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Care for yourself in loss 1 Listen to the body 1 Keep the bond 1 What you are actually defending 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Treatment and medication 1 Safety and grounding 1 Rest and pacing 1 Question the thought 1

When

After a row 3 Under stress 2

After a fight has cooled, revisit it once without blame, each saying how it felt.

Not who was right. How it felt for me, how it felt for you, and what we each needed.

Twenty minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 42:40

On the fight you keep having, stop trying to win it and ask what it means to them underneath.

What are you hoping for, or afraid of, in this. Then only listen for the dream beneath.

Twenty minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:13

Before you argue your side, say their side back so well that they feel understood.

Summarize what they mean until they say yes, that is it. Then, and only then, your turn.

Twenty minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 4:135

If you go silent and shut down, do not just stonewall. Say you need a break, and come back when calm.

Silent withdrawal makes it worse. Name that you are overwhelmed, take twenty minutes, then re-engage.

Twenty minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 25:63

When either of you floods, take a real break of at least twenty minutes before continuing, and agree when to return.

Past a certain heat the body cannot hear reason. Stop, settle, and come back at the time you set.

Twenty minutesStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 2:45

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.