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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices
The moment before you snap remove filterTwenty minutes remove filterClear all
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 39Five minutes 39Twenty minutes 8Longer 2
Who it is written for
A practitioner 8Me 8Someone I care about 3My husband or wife 1
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 5Getting ready for something 3
On your own, or with someone
On my own 6Both of us together 1Involves someone else 1
Theme · The moment before you snap
Systems for daily life 38Medication and how it works 30Moving your body 26Treatment and medication 19Screens and attention 18Getting assessed and diagnosed 17Get started 17What ADHD actually is 17Feelings and focus 16The cost of avoiding 15Your nervous system 14Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Food, caffeine and fuel 11Your sense of time 10Exercise, food and other supports 10What anger actually is 10Bringing the future closer 9The moment before you snap 8Touch and bodywork 8Shared spiritual life 7Shame 6Grounding and settling 6Emotions as signals 6The fear underneath anger 6Cool the body first 6Tolerate distress 6Breaking the worry loop 6Facing it a step at a time 5Remembering to do it 5Shame and stigma 5Breathing 5When everything feels flat 5Staying regulated in conflict 5When you use something to cope 5Being seen and judged 4Choosing your response 4Growing empathy 4Repair after rupture 4What worry does 4Rituals of connection 4Righteous anger and perfectionism 4When anger turns to harm 4Structure and routine 3Equanimity and perspective 3Rebuilding trust 3Anger, alcohol and the body 3Use your strengths 3Knowing your partner 3Making it stick 3Practising under provocation 3Obsessions and compulsions 2Posture and how you carry yourself 2Feeling from the inside 2Letting it out safely 2Answering bids 2What you are actually defending 1Listen to the body 1Living with uncertainty 1Care for yourself in loss 1Treatment and medication 1Safety and grounding 1Question the thought 1Rest and pacing 1Keep the bond 1
Approach
Mindfulness 3Core 3CBT 2
When
Any ordinary day 5After a row 3

To react is to act again. Some of what fires in you belongs to an older scene, and the person in front of you has simply walked into it.

This is not a way of excusing what you do, it is a way of aiming the work. When a reaction is far bigger than the moment deserves, ask what it…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 13:11

In a bad moment your attention, your seeing and your remembering all narrow onto the threat. So your memory of the row is a partial recording, and so is theirs.

Worth holding on to before you go back over who said what. Neither of you is necessarily lying when the two accounts differ. Starting with here is…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 7:154

If waiting has always been hard for you, and your attention has always been restless, that belongs in the anger picture rather than in a separate story.

Irritability, reactivity and a mind that will not settle often arrive as a set. Working on the anger while ignoring the attention leaves the ground…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 2:268

Most of us rehearse the crushing line we wish we had said. Try spending that same time writing what you would actually like to say next time, and keep it short enough to remember.

Take one real episode from the past week and write two things: what happened, and one sentence you would rather have used. Something like I am…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCBTQur’an 41:34

Say the difficult sentence out loud, on your feet, in something like the real conditions. Thinking it through in your head is a different skill from getting it out of your mouth when your pulse is up.

Acting it out feels awkward and that awkwardness is part of why it works: the version of you who has to speak is the aroused one, so that is the…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCBTQur’an 41:35

The hidden finger tap is weaker than a mark on paper. Better to know that now than to find it out when it fails you.

A written page holds you to it. The marks are still there afterwards, and there is no pretending you drifted for ten minutes. So learn it that way…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 16:98

It helps to get one real taste of this early, in a single sitting, rather than waiting weeks to find out whether any of it is for you.

A first go that actually works gives you a reason to come back, and plenty of people never do come back. But one sitting builds nothing on its own.…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 23:98

Even one go at this leaves you with something. You have seen for yourself that the anger can be handled, and that does not expire when you walk out of the room.

The picture is not killing the anger off. It is closer to getting a big animal under control and walking it home: still strong, still yours, going…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapMindfulnessQur’an 42:37

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.