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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

28 practices
Growing empathy remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 12Five minutes 9Twenty minutes 4Longer 3
Who it is written for
A practitioner 27Me 26Someone I care about 10My husband or wife 4
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 28Struggling right now 7Getting ready for something 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 15Both of us together 7Involves someone else 6
Theme · Growing empathy
Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70Getting assessed and diagnosed 63Your nervous system 61What anger actually is 60Staying regulated in conflict 60Moving your body 48Get started 48Equanimity and perspective 46Choosing your response 44The moment before you snap 43Bringing the future closer 43The fear underneath anger 42Exercise, food and other supports 41Your sense of time 40Treatment and medication 39Touch and bodywork 38Feelings and focus 38When everything feels flat 32Screens and attention 32What ADHD actually is 30Growing empathy 28Grounding and settling 27Structure and routine 26The cost of avoiding 26Knowing your partner 25Answering bids 24Food, caffeine and fuel 24What worry does 23Practising under provocation 22Emotions as signals 20What you are actually defending 20Cool the body first 20Treatment and medication 20Making it stick 19Repair after rupture 19Breathing 19Being seen and judged 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Righteous anger and perfectionism 16Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Shame and stigma 14Breaking the worry loop 14Remembering to do it 13Listening and understanding 13Rituals of connection 13Feeling from the inside 12When anger turns to harm 11When you use something to cope 11Tolerate distress 10Reading, numbers and learning differences 10Gratitude 9Facing it a step at a time 9Use your strengths 8Self-compassion 8Obsessions and compulsions 6Anger, alcohol and the body 6Question the thought 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Meaning after harm 4Safety and grounding 4Name what you feel 3Shame 3Calm the body 3Your worth is not conditional 3Let the wave come 3Panic and the body 3Working with anger 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Ride the urge 2Validate yourself and others 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Help someone grieving 2Patience and trust 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Work with your brain 2Rest and pacing 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Ask and say no well 2Your window of tolerance 2Living with uncertainty 1When you go numb 1
Approach
Body based 15Medical and treatment 12CBT 1
When
Any ordinary day 25Under stress 1When apart 1After a row 1

If it really is that you feel too much for people, the useful move is not more feeling. It is learning to say no while still meaning them well.

Naming your softness as something that gets used is what makes a limit bearable to set. You are not becoming colder. You are stopping the slow build…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 16:90

You cannot decide to feel closer to people. You can decide to eat with them, walk with them, sit near them and say one true thing, and the closeness tends to follow.

The chemistry gets talked about a great deal and it is the least useful part. What you can act on is the diary: a standing meal with someone, a hand…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 30:21

Go long enough without company and almost anyone will do. That is worth knowing about yourself, and worth watching for in someone who lives alone.

Loneliness does not make you a poor judge of character on purpose. It just lowers the bar until whoever turns up seems fine. The steadier answer is…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:8

Four ordinary things take the edge off a hot temper: being touched by someone you trust, eating with people, moving your body hard enough to breathe, and sitting still for a few minutes a day.

None of them are about anger directly, which is the point. Exercise lowers what you are already carrying before the argument starts. A shared meal…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 76:8

If eating together helps, it is the together that is helping. Being full is not a route to feeling close, and treating it as one goes wrong quickly for some people.

Sit down with somebody once a week and eat whatever you were going to eat anyway. That is the whole practice. If you notice yourself reaching for…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:14

Two people who spend time in step really do become more attuned. Nothing passes between your brains while it happens, though, so put the hours in rather than waiting for the wiring.

The phrase about brains wiring together is a picture, and a lovely one. What is actually available to you is ordinary: the same room, the same walk…

LongerGrowing empathyBody basedQur’an 7:156

If you are around people constantly and falling out with them constantly, a quiet weekend on your own may do more for your temper than any conversation will.

Company loses its flavour when there is never a break in it, and irritation fills the gap. A deliberate stretch alone, a day or a weekend, lets you…

LongerGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 28:24

Closeness arrives much faster in a small group that keeps meeting than in a wide circle you see now and then. If you want to feel less alone, pick the small thing that repeats.

Six people who show up every Tuesday and say something real will know each other within a couple of months. Sixty acquaintances will not. It does not…

LongerGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:17

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.