Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

25 practices

Knowing your partner Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have

A minute 14 Five minutes 8 Twenty minutes 3

Who it is written for

Me 25 My husband or wife 25

On your own, or with someone

Involves someone else 15 On my own 10

Theme · Knowing your partner

Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 What anger actually is 60 Get started 48 Moving your body 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Choosing your response 44 The moment before you snap 43 Bringing the future closer 43 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Your sense of time 40 Treatment and medication 39 Feelings and focus 38 Touch and bodywork 38 When everything feels flat 32 Screens and attention 32 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 28 Grounding and settling 27 The cost of avoiding 26 Structure and routine 26 Knowing your partner 25 Answering bids 24 Food, caffeine and fuel 24 What worry does 23 Practising under provocation 22 Emotions as signals 20 Treatment and medication 20 Cool the body first 20 What you are actually defending 20 Breathing 19 Making it stick 19 Repair after rupture 19 Being seen and judged 18 Rebuilding trust 17 Shared spiritual life 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 15 Breaking the worry loop 14 Shame and stigma 14 Remembering to do it 13 Rituals of connection 13 Listening and understanding 13 Feeling from the inside 12 When anger turns to harm 11 When you use something to cope 11 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Tolerate distress 10 Gratitude 9 Facing it a step at a time 9 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 5 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Panic and the body 3 Calm the body 3 Let the wave come 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Act on your values 3 Shame 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Work with your brain 2 Ask and say no well 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Ride the urge 2 Rest and pacing 2 Patience and trust 2 Listen to the body 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Living with uncertainty 1 When you go numb 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 10 Gottman 9 Core 6

When

Any ordinary day 20 Under stress 5

When your partner shares the dream behind their stance, make it safe: listen like a friend, suspend judgment, do not solve.

Your only job is to hear it and understand, not to fix it or judge it. Ask gentle questions and let them unfold.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:12

On a core disagreement, tell your partner the story behind your position: where it comes from, what it means to you.

Behind a firm stance is usually a history and a dream. Share yours honestly instead of just defending it.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 49:13

Tell your spouse about a raw spot, an old tender place that still gets touched.

When you go quiet I feel abandoned, like I did as a child. Name the ache, not the blame.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 17:24

Ask one open question about their inner world tonight, and just listen to the whole answer.

What are you hoping for lately, what are you dreading. Questions with no single answer.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 30:21

Ask your spouse about a moment from their childhood that shaped them, and listen closely.

What comfort felt like then, what they longed for. It still lives in how they love now.

Twenty minutesKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 17:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.