Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

44 practices

Choosing your response Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have

A minute 25 Five minutes 17 Twenty minutes 1 Longer 1

Who it is written for

Me 44 A practitioner 38 Someone I care about 11 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Coping, mostly 44 Getting ready for something 19 Struggling right now 18

On your own, or with someone

On my own 41 Involves someone else 3

Theme · Choosing your response

Medication and how it works 104Systems for daily life 70 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 What anger actually is 60 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Moving your body 48 Get started 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Choosing your response 44 Bringing the future closer 43 The moment before you snap 43 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 Your sense of time 40 Treatment and medication 39 Feelings and focus 38 Touch and bodywork 38 Screens and attention 32 When everything feels flat 32 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 28 Grounding and settling 27 The cost of avoiding 26 Structure and routine 26 Knowing your partner 25 Answering bids 24 Food, caffeine and fuel 24 What worry does 23 Practising under provocation 22 Cool the body first 20 What you are actually defending 20 Emotions as signals 20 Treatment and medication 20 Breathing 19 Repair after rupture 19 Making it stick 19 Being seen and judged 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Shame and stigma 14 Breaking the worry loop 14 Rituals of connection 13 Remembering to do it 13 Listening and understanding 13 Feeling from the inside 12 When you use something to cope 11 When anger turns to harm 11 Tolerate distress 10 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Gratitude 9 Facing it a step at a time 9 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Meaning after harm 4 Safety and grounding 4 Let the wave come 3 Shame 3 Act on your values 3 Panic and the body 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Calm the body 3 Listen to the body 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Help someone grieving 2 Rest and pacing 2 Work with your brain 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Patience and trust 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Face it gently 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Ride the urge 2 Ask and say no well 2 When you go numb 1 Living with uncertainty 1

Approach

Core 30 Mindfulness 8 CBT 5 Gottman 1

When

Any ordinary day 24 Under stress 17 After a row 3

You can tell someone they have hurt you without your voice showing it. The message and the heat come apart, and it is usually the heat that stops the message being heard.

Worth saying, because plenty of people believe the only options are swallowing it or letting it out. There is a third, which is saying the whole hard…

Five minutesChoosing your responseCBTQur’an 17:53

Under the anger there is usually something you wanted and did not get, or something you are afraid of losing. Say that, and you have handed the other person something they can actually do.

"You never help" gives someone a charge to deny. "I needed you to take the kids for an hour and I was too proud to ask" gives them a job. The second…

Five minutesChoosing your responseCBTQur’an 5:8

Some triggers make no sense because the memory attached to them is long gone while the alarm is still wired in. A tone of voice, a particular shirt, the smell of dinner burning.

If you find yourself furious out of all proportion, look at the features rather than the story. What did that moment sound like, look like, feel like…

Twenty minutesChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 41:36

Running on autopilot is not the problem in itself. Patience, letting things go and wishing people well can all become automatic, and then they are there without you having to summon them.

Nobody deliberates under real pressure, so the aim is not to think harder at the time, it is to have a better default waiting. Defaults get installed…

LongerChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 3:134

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.