Areas › Anger
Anger
Almost nobody wants to be the person who says the thing they cannot take back. The window between the surge and the words is short and it can be widened. That is most of what this area is about, along with the fear or hurt that anger is usually protecting.
Narrowed down
2 practicesTheme · Choosing your response
How long you have
Approach · CBT
When · Any ordinary day
Catch the reflex on something small. A one-word reply to your message, and the first question your mind asks is what have I done.
That first question is the reflex, and it is far easier to see when nothing much is at stake. Practise there: notice the accusation your mind reached…
Open with the difficulty instead of the accusation. "This is hard for me to say" and "I am worried you will not like this" buy you a hearing that "you always" never will.
Two things happen at once when you start this way. The other person stops preparing a defence, because nothing has been thrown at them yet. And you…