Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD
Focus, starting, and ADHD
Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.
Narrowed down
46 practicesTheme · Bringing the future closer
How long you have
When · Any ordinary day
Your ability to hold off a distraction is at its worst near the end of a work block, not at the start. Set the room up for the tired version of you, because that is the one who will be sitting in it.
In practice the hard removals happen in advance, while you still feel capable. Phone away before you begin, water and food already to hand, the next…
The towel left on the floor is the model. Tomorrow it is cold and unpleasant to use, and that is the whole of it. Short wait, happens every time, nothing terrible.
When you are building a consequence yourself, aim for those qualities rather than for severity. Something that lands within a day or two. Something…
Smoking sends its bill decades later. Homework skipped at fourteen lands at university applications. January's receipt matters in April of the following year. The few seconds of relief are always right here.
Lining these up next to each other makes something clear that willpower talk hides. You are not being asked to want the far thing slightly more. You…
Bring the cost forward into today. No screen until the hour of work is done, rather than a poor grade three months from now.
Same idea for adults: you do not leave the desk until the hour is in, the film waits until the form is filed. It works because it stops asking you to…
If the deadline is six weeks off and you can really only see three days ahead, do not try to grow the horizon. Move the deadline closer with a checkpoint.
A five minute catch-up with someone every couple of days does more than a beautifully drawn plan for the whole six weeks. In work with little…
When you ask a manager for regular check-ins, ask for them as a way of staying pointed in the right direction. That is a different conversation from asking to be watched.
Something like: could we take five minutes twice a week, so I can be sure I am working on what matters most to you. You are the one proposing it, so…
'It's bad for your health' and 'grades matter later' move nobody, least of all someone who has never seen what either one looks like.
If you want a future to carry any weight, it has to be pictured rather than stated. What does the day look like. Who is in the room. What is…
A consequence has to cost the person whose behaviour it is, in something they actually care about. If missing the bus mildly annoys your teenager and wrecks your morning, the cost is landing on the wrong person.
So move it. A few pounds for the lift, or the phone for the day. Say it plainly beforehand, then do it without the lecture attached. What counts as…
You get three goes at thinking about something: before it starts, somewhere in the middle, and once it is over. Most of us only ever use the last one, which is the least useful of them.
Before is a pause to look at the options. In the middle is a quick check on how it is actually going and whether anything needs changing. Afterwards…
The first version of the list will be alright. It becomes good over a couple of years, one forgotten item at a time.
So when you arrive somewhere without the thing you needed, add a line rather than carrying the annoyance around with you. That turns a bad morning…
A long project gives you no feedback until it is too late to use any. Put checkpoints in yourself: with the people involved, or just with you and a Monday morning.
Pick the dates while you are writing the plan, not later when you happen to remember. Each one turns a single verdict at the end into several small…
At a check-in, only look. Where am I, what has slipped, what have I still not heard back on. Skim the inbox without opening anything.
The moment you answer one message the review is over, and you will not notice it ending. Keep a sheet beside you and write down what you spot instead…
Once a day, look at the whole day before it starts eating you. What is on, what is urgent, what is this day actually best used for. Morning or evening, whichever you will really do.
It takes about five minutes and it is the difference between a day you chose and a day chosen for you by whoever emailed first. Some people prefer…
Ask people how it went. How was that meeting, how am I doing, what did you make of it. Nobody enjoys asking, and the information is not available any other way.
Ask one specific person about one specific thing rather than the room in general. If your read on yourself has been bent out of shape by years of…
Someone who will tell you the part that was not good is someone whose 'that was fine' you can believe. That is what settles the doubt, not reassurance.
Blanket praise carries no information, so it slides off and the doubt is back within the hour. If you tend to worry about how you came across, ask…
One way to hold the whole thing: you feel now at full volume and later almost not at all. Putting things off, saying yes too often, spending, jumping in. One pattern rather than four separate faults.
It changes what you go looking for. Not more discipline in each area separately, but ways of making later louder across all of them. A deadline you…
A report due Friday puts a little pressure on somebody else's Monday. For you Monday feels like nothing at all, and then Thursday evening arrives carrying the whole of it.
It is worth drawing out honestly. One line sloping gently upwards all week, another staying flat and then going vertical. Once the shape is visible…
If the only real deadline is the fortnightly meeting, invent some smaller ones. A couple of short catch-ups a week will do more for the work than the formal review ever does.
Ask for them as something that helps you, because it is true and it also lands better: five minutes on Tuesday and Thursday keeps me pointed at the…
No single strategy fits every situation. When something that worked last year does nothing now, the fault is usually in the match rather than in you.
For anyone helping, this matters even more. When a sensible technique fails, the first question is which part of this person's week it did not fit,…
There are two ways to make something get noticed: make it louder, or quieten everything around it. The second is usually the one nobody has tried.
It applies to a desk and to a phone screen alike. Adding one more reminder into a busy field mostly adds to the field. Taking six things off the desk…