Areas › Your marriage › Answering bids
Send your spouse one reaching message in the middle of the day, for no reason.
Thinking of you. A small signal across the hours that says you are on my mind.
Qur’an and Sunnah
In the remembrance of God hearts find rest (Qur'an 13:28). A loving thought sent mid-day is a small remembrance of your beloved.
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَتَطۡمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَا بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَئِنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ
those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God- truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace
Qur’an 13:28read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
What the research says
A message with no purpose but reaching says you are carried in my thoughts. These small signals keep the thread between you taut and warm.
Johnson, S.M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy with Individuals, Couples, and Families. Guilford
The originator's account of EFT as attachment-based practice.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Why it works
Unprompted contact through the day reinforces felt connection.
Where this sits: EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), attachment-based couple intervention.
This one is still a draft. It is waiting on a scholar and a clinician to read it before it is published.
Near this one
In a raw, vulnerable moment, ask your partner directly for comfort and reassurance instead of hiding the need.
Answer the small bid today: the passing comment is really a reach for your attention.
Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.