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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
Knowing your partner remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterCore remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Five minutes 2
Who it is written for
Me 4My husband or wife 4
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Involves someone else 4On my own 2
Theme · Knowing your partner
What anger actually is 13Screens and attention 12Reading, numbers and learning differences 6The moment before you snap 4Knowing your partner 4Affection and touch 4Choosing your response 3Getting assessed and diagnosed 3Treatment and medication 3Rituals of connection 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3What you are actually defending 2Shared spiritual life 2Equanimity and perspective 2Answering bids 2The fear underneath anger 2Gratitude 1Making it stick 1Repair after rupture 1
Approach · Core
Emotionally focused 6Gottman 5Core 4

Ask a follow-up question instead of offering your own view.

Curiosity says you are still worth discovering; advice can quietly say the opposite.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Ask what makes them feel most cared for, and then believe the answer.

Our usual gestures are often for the person we imagine, not the one in front of us.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Ask them something you do not already know the answer to.

Today, ask your spouse one question you cannot predict the answer to. Not "how was your day." Something like: what are you quietly worried about this…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Learn how they were comforted as a child.

How someone was soothed long ago still shapes what feels like love now.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 30:21

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.