Inshirahone small thing, well grounded
GuidesPracticesAboutGet help nowInshirah Academy

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices
Growing empathy remove filterMe remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
How long you have
Five minutes 3Twenty minutes 4
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 7Me 7Someone I care about 2My husband or wife 1
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 6Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 20Both of us together 7Involves someone else 7
Theme · Growing empathy
Medication and how it works 47Systems for daily life 26Staying regulated in conflict 24Knowing your partner 15Rebuilding trust 14Affection and touch 13Moving your body 13Listening and understanding 12Rituals of connection 11Answering bids 11Repair after rupture 11Shared spiritual life 10Food, caffeine and fuel 10The moment before you snap 10Breaking the worry loop 10Screens and attention 9What anger actually is 8Your nervous system 7Treatment and medication 7Bringing the future closer 7Choosing your response 7Growing empathy 7Feelings and focus 7Grounding and settling 6Breathing 6The cost of avoiding 6Remembering to do it 6Get started 6Treatment and medication 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Equanimity and perspective 5Exercise, food and other supports 5Facing it a step at a time 5What worry does 4When everything feels flat 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Structure and routine 4What ADHD actually is 4When you use something to cope 4Cool the body first 4Being seen and judged 3Tolerate distress 3Emotions as signals 3Practising under provocation 3Your sense of time 3Rest and pacing 2Gratitude 2Help someone grieving 2What you are actually defending 2Touch and bodywork 2Fondness and admiration 2Shame 2Panic and the body 2Ask and say no well 2Obsessions and compulsions 1When you go numb 1Safety and grounding 1The fear underneath anger 1Validate yourself and others 1Making it stick 1Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
Medical and treatment 6CBT 1
When
Any ordinary day 5When apart 1Under stress 1

Time alone can be a good idea or a dangerous one, and the difference is what sits underneath it. If you are already low, already dodging people, or drinking on your own, a plan to see fewer people is the wrong plan.

Ask honestly which one this is. Stepping back from a crowded, quarrelsome week is one thing. Disappearing because you cannot face anybody is another,…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 93:10

Telling somebody one thing you are quietly embarrassed about will bring you closer than a month of pleasant conversation.

It does not have to be dramatic. The worry you have never said out loud, the mistake you still think about at night, the thing you are no good at.…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 28:23

If it really is that you feel too much for people, the useful move is not more feeling. It is learning to say no while still meaning them well.

Naming your softness as something that gets used is what makes a limit bearable to set. You are not becoming colder. You are stopping the slow build…

Five minutesGrowing empathyCBTQur’an 16:90

You cannot decide to feel closer to people. You can decide to eat with them, walk with them, sit near them and say one true thing, and the closeness tends to follow.

The chemistry gets talked about a great deal and it is the least useful part. What you can act on is the diary: a standing meal with someone, a hand…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 30:21

Go long enough without company and almost anyone will do. That is worth knowing about yourself, and worth watching for in someone who lives alone.

Loneliness does not make you a poor judge of character on purpose. It just lowers the bar until whoever turns up seems fine. The steadier answer is…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 4:8

Four ordinary things take the edge off a hot temper: being touched by someone you trust, eating with people, moving your body hard enough to breathe, and sitting still for a few minutes a day.

None of them are about anger directly, which is the point. Exercise lowers what you are already carrying before the argument starts. A shared meal…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 76:8

If eating together helps, it is the together that is helping. Being full is not a route to feeling close, and treating it as one goes wrong quickly for some people.

Sit down with somebody once a week and eat whatever you were going to eat anyway. That is the whole practice. If you notice yourself reaching for…

Twenty minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 90:14

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.