Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1888 practices
Area
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme
Your nervous system 105Medication and how it works 82What anger actually is 78The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 59Equanimity and perspective 57The fear underneath anger 56Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52Food, caffeine and fuel 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46What ADHD actually is 42Exercise, food and other supports 41When everything feels flat 39Feelings and focus 37Staying regulated in conflict 36Practising under provocation 36Shame and stigma 30Treatment and medication 29Making it stick 29Getting assessed and diagnosed 28Breathing 28Screens and attention 28Structure and routine 24Tolerate distress 23Feeling from the inside 23Being seen and judged 22What worry does 21What you are actually defending 21Treatment and medication 20Growing empathy 20Remembering to do it 20When you use something to cope 18Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Breaking the worry loop 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Emotions as signals 12Self-compassion 12Obsessions and compulsions 12Question the thought 11Knowing your partner 10Shame 10Facing it a step at a time 10Use your strengths 9Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8Repair after rupture 8Shared spiritual life 7Gratitude 7When anger turns to harm 5When you go numb 4Letting it out safely 4Meaning after harm 4Living with uncertainty 4Name what you feel 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Your worth is not conditional 3Let the wave come 3Rebuilding trust 3Working with anger 3Rest and pacing 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Listen to the body 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Patience and trust 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1Panic and the body 1The cost of avoiding 1
Approach
When

Every interruption charges you twice. There is the chance you never come back to the work at all, and there is the effort it takes to come back when you do.

This is why a day of successfully resisting everything can still end with nothing left in the tank. You count the times you got pulled away, feel…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 99:8

Letting the natural consequence do the teaching only works if it arrives soon enough to be connected to what you did. Where the gap is months or years, nobody learns from it. Not you, not anyone.

So the honest question is not whether someone ought to learn from what happens. It is whether the timing gives them any chance to. A cost that lands…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:21

By the time the motivation turns up, the moment to act has usually gone. Thursday night panic about a report due on Friday is real motivation, just delivered too late to be any use.

Worth saying to yourself without contempt, because the pattern is not a preference for pressure. The job is to move the feeling earlier rather than…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 89:24

That Thursday night feeling, fully motivated at last with no good option remaining, is a trap in the timing rather than a fault in you.

It is worth naming, because most people have been told the opposite about themselves for years. The scramble is what happens when the deadline is the…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 17:11

Keep a count of it. Everyone talks themselves out of things, and 'I always pull it off at the last minute' is a belief living off the handful of times it was true.

Nothing clever is needed. A tick on the calendar for days that went to plan, a note of the times you started late and how that actually turned out.…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:110

Two things depend on the same small gap: looking back at how the last one went, and looking ahead at how this one is likely to go. Neither can happen once you are already moving.

Which is oddly good news, because it is not two skills to build. It is the half second before you answer, agree, buy or set off. Most people already…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

Forethought can be as small as this. The motorway is dreadful at nine and fine at two, so you go at two. Ten seconds of picturing it, not an afternoon of planning.

If the word planning makes you tired, drop it. What you are doing is running the thing forward once before you commit: where will I be, what will it…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 89:24

Usually it is not that you did not know better. The obvious option had already taken hold before anything you know got a chance to speak.

So more information is rarely the fix. What helps is a wedge between the pull and the action: saying you will answer tomorrow, keeping your hand off…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

Without that gap the choice is made before it is a choice: one marshmallow now instead of two in ten minutes. It shows up in money, in work, in what gets said to people.

Worth seeing as one pattern rather than as a list of separate failings, which is both kinder and more useful. The same fix applies everywhere it…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:21

People stop telling the truth to anyone who argues with it. Being easy to be honest with is a skill, and it has to be visible from the outside.

Notice what you do in the first three seconds after hearing something you did not want to hear. The explaining, the yes but, the small correction of…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 14:7

When the panic finally shows up, take it as news about the past rather than a call to action. It means the good options went a while ago.

You can use the sentence on yourself in the moment: by the time I feel it, it is already too late. Not as a beating, just as information. Two things…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 89:24

Hang something small and near on the task. No coffee until the expense form is in. Not a treat later in the month, something you actually want in the next ten minutes.

It works better when the reward is genuinely small, genuinely close, and you hold the line on it. Big distant rewards behave exactly like the…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 29:69

Running late is one thing. Running late with no message is two things. If it is the text that keeps going missing, put a small cost on the text specifically: no message, you do the washing up.

Worth separating, because they really are separate problems and the second is much cheaper to solve. Remembering to send something while you are…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 99:7

On Monday, take a minute to picture Thursday twice. Thursday with an hour of this already behind you, and Thursday with none of it done. Make both of them specific.

Where are you sitting, what time is it, what does your chest feel like. The comparison is the working part, since one vague future against another…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

Do not ask whether you feel like it. The answer is no, today and every other day. Ask how you will feel about it later.

The first question has only one answer and it never varies, which is why it ends up deciding everything. The second is answerable and it moves with…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 18:46

The job will not feel more pleasant on Thursday. It will be the same job, done tired, in less time, with somebody waiting. Later is not the easier option. It only looks that way from here.

There is a quiet assumption that willingness will turn up in the meantime. It does not. What changes is the conditions, and they get worse. Saying…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 16:96

Most time strategies are doing one of three jobs: showing you time passing, interrupting you when a moment arrives, or laying the days out ahead of you. When something is not working, ask which of the three is missing rather than hunting for a new app.

Have a look at what you already use. A clock in view and a timer running are the first job. An alarm that cuts through whatever you are absorbed in…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

If you lose track of how long you have been at something, a clock you can see is the fix. If you get pulled under and surface far too late, what you need is an interruption, not a clock.

Alarms and schedules are doing different jobs again. An alarm is there because noticing the time yourself is the bit that fails when you are…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

Do not plan to resist the phone. Put it in another room before you sit down, close the tabs, silence the chat app. Resisting works sometimes, and it costs you something every single time.

The five minutes before you start are worth more than any amount of determination once you are underway. Decide what is coming into the room with you…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:20

Your ability to hold off a distraction is at its worst near the end of a work block, not at the start. Set the room up for the tired version of you, because that is the one who will be sitting in it.

In practice the hard removals happen in advance, while you still feel capable. Phone away before you begin, water and food already to hand, the next…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:197

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.