Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

10 practices

Knowing your partner Me On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 9 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for · Me

My husband or wife 10 Me 10

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Involves someone else 15 On my own 10

Theme · Knowing your partner

Your nervous system 105Medication and how it works 82 What anger actually is 78 The moment before you snap 76 Choosing your response 73 Get started 65 Systems for daily life 62 Grounding and settling 59 Equanimity and perspective 57 The fear underneath anger 56 Cool the body first 55 Touch and bodywork 52 Your sense of time 52 Food, caffeine and fuel 49 Moving your body 48 Bringing the future closer 46 What ADHD actually is 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 When everything feels flat 39 Feelings and focus 37 Practising under provocation 36 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Shame and stigma 30 Treatment and medication 29 Making it stick 29 Screens and attention 28 Breathing 28 Getting assessed and diagnosed 28 Structure and routine 24 Feeling from the inside 23 Tolerate distress 23 Being seen and judged 22 What worry does 21 What you are actually defending 21 Growing empathy 20 Remembering to do it 20 Treatment and medication 20 When you use something to cope 18 Answering bids 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Breaking the worry loop 13 Obsessions and compulsions 12 Self-compassion 12 Emotions as signals 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 12 Question the thought 11 Facing it a step at a time 10 Knowing your partner 10 Shame 10 Use your strengths 9 Posture and how you carry yourself 8 Repair after rupture 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Gratitude 7 Shared spiritual life 7 When anger turns to harm 5 Letting it out safely 4 When you go numb 4 Living with uncertainty 4 Meaning after harm 4 Your worth is not conditional 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Let the wave come 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Rest and pacing 3 Safety and grounding 3 Act on your values 3 Working with anger 3 Calm the body 3 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Rituals of connection 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Find meaning 2 Get it out of your head 2 Face it gently 2 Affection and touch 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Listen to the body 2 Validate yourself and others 1 Listening and understanding 1 Panic and the body 1 The cost of avoiding 1

Approach

Gottman 4 Emotionally focused 4 Core 2

When

Any ordinary day 8 Under stress 2

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:186

Be the first to lower your guard today, even a little, and say something true and soft.

Someone has to move first. Let it be you, with one honest, undefended sentence.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 20:44

Find the longing under your complaint, and voice the longing instead.

Under you are never home is I miss you, I want more of you. Say the wish, not the jab.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Ask your spouse what is weighing on them this week, and remember the answer.

Not how was your day. What is heavy right now. Then carry a corner of it in your mind.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Notice one way your spouse has changed lately, and let your picture of them catch up.

People keep becoming someone new. Ask about the new thing rather than assuming the old.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 13:28

Learn the one part of your spouse's day that drains them most, and lighten it if you can.

The commute, the boss, the bedtime hour. Know the pinch point, then ease it by a little.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Keep in mind one small thing that matters to your spouse, and act on it unprompted.

The tea they like, the worry they mentioned, the date they dread. Remember, then show it.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:152

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.