Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

9 practices

Staying regulated in conflict On my own Any ordinary day Clear all

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 9 Me 9

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 9 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Staying regulated in conflict

Your nervous system 81 Medication and how it works 69 Get started 61 Systems for daily life 52 What anger actually is 50 Your sense of time 48 Food, caffeine and fuel 43 The moment before you snap 42 Choosing your response 41 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Moving your body 37 What ADHD actually is 35 Treatment and medication 34 Bringing the future closer 33 Equanimity and perspective 33 Grounding and settling 31 The fear underneath anger 30 When everything feels flat 29 Screens and attention 28 Touch and bodywork 27 Structure and routine 25 Getting assessed and diagnosed 25 Practising under provocation 24 Shame and stigma 22 Feelings and focus 22 Making it stick 20 Treatment and medication 19 Cool the body first 19 What worry does 19 Being seen and judged 18 Remembering to do it 17 Breathing 17 Growing empathy 17 Feeling from the inside 15 When you use something to cope 15 What you are actually defending 13 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Fondness and admiration 12 Obsessions and compulsions 10 Tolerate distress 10 Answering bids 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 10 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Knowing your partner 8 Facing it a step at a time 7 Shared spiritual life 7 Breaking the worry loop 7 Gratitude 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Emotions as signals 6 Question the thought 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Shame 4 When you go numb 3 Living with uncertainty 3 When anger turns to harm 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Work with your brain 2 Act on your values 2 Meaning after harm 2 Face it gently 2 Get it out of your head 2 Rest and pacing 2 Find meaning 2 Keep the bond 2 Repair after rupture 2 Affection and touch 1 Safety and grounding 1 Panic and the body 1 Listening and understanding 1 Listen to the body 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Rebuilding trust 1

Approach

Gottman 6 Emotionally focused 2 Core 1

When · Any ordinary day

After a row 17 Any ordinary day 9 Under stress 9 Coming and going 1

If you tend to go quiet, step back in today and say one honest sentence.

Silence protects you but starves them. One true line reopens the connection.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 33:70

If you tend to press, soften your approach today: ask once, gently, then wait.

The push that seeks closeness often creates distance. Try a softer, slower reach.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictEmotionally focusedQur’an 41:34

On one small slight today, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt out loud in your mind.

The late reply, the short tone. Choose the reading that is not an attack. Usually it is truer.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Assume your spouse meant well today, even when it landed wrong, and respond to the intent.

Clumsy is not the same as unkind. Answer what they meant, not only how it came out.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:12

Catch yourself keeping score today, and set the ledger down.

I did this, so they owe that. Love kept as accounting slowly turns cold. Drop the tally.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 24:22

On the old recurring issue, raise it once this week more gently than you ever have.

Most problems between two people never fully resolve. The task is to soften how you carry them.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 41:34

Reframe one difference with your spouse as a dream to understand, not a flaw to fix.

Behind their stubborn stance is usually something they value. Ask what it protects.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 49:13

Lower your voice instead of matching theirs.

When the volume rises today, go the other way. Not silence, not martyrdom. Just quieter. It is one of the few moves that de-escalates without…

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictCoreQur’an 3:159

Accept that some differences between you are enduring, not problems to be solved. Learn to live with them gently.

Most perpetual conflicts never fully resolve. The task is dialogue and acceptance, not a final verdict.

A minuteStaying regulated in conflictGottmanQur’an 11:118

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.