Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Knowing your partner On my own Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 7 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 8 Me 8

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Involves someone else 12 On my own 8

Theme · Knowing your partner

Your nervous system 81 Medication and how it works 69 Get started 61 Systems for daily life 52 What anger actually is 50 Your sense of time 48 Food, caffeine and fuel 43 The moment before you snap 42 Choosing your response 41 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Moving your body 37 What ADHD actually is 35 Treatment and medication 34 Equanimity and perspective 33 Bringing the future closer 33 Grounding and settling 31 The fear underneath anger 30 When everything feels flat 29 Screens and attention 28 Touch and bodywork 27 Structure and routine 25 Getting assessed and diagnosed 25 Practising under provocation 24 Shame and stigma 22 Feelings and focus 22 Making it stick 20 Cool the body first 19 What worry does 19 Treatment and medication 19 Being seen and judged 18 Breathing 17 Growing empathy 17 Remembering to do it 17 Feeling from the inside 15 When you use something to cope 15 What you are actually defending 13 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Fondness and admiration 12 Tolerate distress 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 10 Answering bids 10 Obsessions and compulsions 10 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Knowing your partner 8 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Breaking the worry loop 7 Facing it a step at a time 7 Gratitude 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Question the thought 6 Emotions as signals 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Shame 4 When anger turns to harm 3 When you go numb 3 Living with uncertainty 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Work with your brain 2 Repair after rupture 2 Rest and pacing 2 Meaning after harm 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Affection and touch 1 Listen to the body 1 Listening and understanding 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Panic and the body 1 Safety and grounding 1 Rebuilding trust 1 Your window of tolerance 1

Approach

Gottman 4 Core 2 Emotionally focused 2

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 8 Under stress 2

Be the first to lower your guard today, even a little, and say something true and soft.

Someone has to move first. Let it be you, with one honest, undefended sentence.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 20:44

Find the longing under your complaint, and voice the longing instead.

Under you are never home is I miss you, I want more of you. Say the wish, not the jab.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 25:74

Ask your spouse what is weighing on them this week, and remember the answer.

Not how was your day. What is heavy right now. Then carry a corner of it in your mind.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Notice one way your spouse has changed lately, and let your picture of them catch up.

People keep becoming someone new. Ask about the new thing rather than assuming the old.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 13:28

Learn the one part of your spouse's day that drains them most, and lighten it if you can.

The commute, the boss, the bedtime hour. Know the pinch point, then ease it by a little.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 9:71

Keep in mind one small thing that matters to your spouse, and act on it unprompted.

The tea they like, the worry they mentioned, the date they dread. Remember, then show it.

A minuteKnowing your partnerGottmanQur’an 2:152

Reference something they told you last week, unprompted.

Remembering the small details of their life is quiet proof that they were truly heard.

A minuteKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Name their three current worries to yourself, then gently check whether you were right.

Knowing what weighs on them today is how care becomes specific instead of general.

Five minutesKnowing your partnerCoreQur’an 4:19

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.