Practices

Try locking your ankle and holding everything rigid while you balance. You will fall over. The wobble was doing the work.

People who are frightened of losing control often try to hold themselves regulated: clamped, monitoring, allowing no drift. It is exhausting and it…

There are small signs that somebody has come back into connection: light in the eyes, a bit of music in the voice, a smile that arrives by itself.

They are easy to see once you know to look, and they are just as useful in reverse. If you are with someone difficult and your own voice has gone…

Before you close your eyes for anything calming, spend a minute looking round the room. Let your eyes land wherever they want to.

Closing your eyes too early is one reason relaxation exercises backfire. If your body has not registered that the room is fine, going inward means…

Breath does not always calm. For some people it opens the door to feeling, for others it puts a little distance in. Find out which it does for you today.

The instruction to breathe deeply gets handed out as though it settles everyone. Plenty of people find that attention to their breath brings the…

Your heart speeds up slightly on every breath in and slows on every breath out. Sit quietly with a hand on your chest and you can feel it.

This is why lengthening the out breath calms you and lengthening the in breath wakes you up. It also means you carry a working control that needs no…

Breath reaches the settling machinery faster than reasoning does, because it works on a part of the brainstem that does not wait for your opinion.

That is why arguing yourself out of a panic rarely works while six slow breaths often do something. It also explains why breath practice can feel…

Hum a note you like for a few breaths, and try covering your ears with your palms so the sound fills your head.

The vibration carries through your throat and your inner ear, and humming lengthens the out breath for you without any counting. Choose your own note…

Breathe in, then push the air out gently against a closed throat, or against lightly pinched nostrils, for a couple of seconds.

The change of pressure in your chest is what does the work, and two or three rounds are enough to notice something. Keep it gentle. Straining is…

Cold water on your face, particularly at the hairline and around the lips, sets off a reflex that slows the heart. It is one of the few things fast enough to interrupt real panic.

A splash at the sink, a few minutes outside in cold air, or a bowl of cold water if you have one to hand. There is a quieter version for when you…

Whatever happens in a session, the change gets built in the other hours. Choose things you can do at a bus stop with nothing in your hands.

There are roughly 167 waking hours a week outside an appointment, and that is where a practice either becomes yours or quietly disappears. Elaborate…