Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

Repair after rupture A minute On my own Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 6 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 6 Me 6

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Involves someone else 7 On my own 6

Theme · Repair after rupture

Choosing your response 34 The moment before you snap 34 Staying regulated in conflict 32 Cool the body first 29 Your nervous system 24 What anger actually is 24 Grounding and settling 21 The fear underneath anger 20 Get started 19 Bringing the future closer 18 Medication and how it works 16 Your sense of time 14 Equanimity and perspective 14 Answering bids 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Treatment and medication 13 Making it stick 12 Systems for daily life 12 Structure and routine 12 Feelings and focus 11 Practising under provocation 11 Touch and bodywork 11 Growing empathy 10 Knowing your partner 9 Food, caffeine and fuel 9 Exercise, food and other supports 8 What ADHD actually is 8 Tolerate distress 7 Remembering to do it 7 Gratitude 7 Screens and attention 6 When everything feels flat 6 What worry does 6 Moving your body 6 Repair after rupture 6 Breathing 5 What you are actually defending 5 Treatment and medication 5 Being seen and judged 5 Shame and stigma 5 Shared spiritual life 5 Feeling from the inside 4 Getting assessed and diagnosed 4 Question the thought 4 Self-compassion 4 Name what you feel 3 Facing it a step at a time 3 When you use something to cope 3 Rituals of connection 2 Meaning after harm 2 Notice the pattern and flex 2 Panic and the body 2 Patience and trust 2 Posture and how you carry yourself 2 Rebuilding trust 2 Ride the urge 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Let the wave come 2 Safety and grounding 2 Hold a boundary 2 Shame 2 Affection and touch 2 Working with anger 2 Your worth is not conditional 2 Emotions as signals 2 Calm the body 2 Breaking the worry loop 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Get it out of your head 1 Rest and pacing 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 When anger turns to harm 1 Listen to the body 1 Obsessions and compulsions 1 When you go numb 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Reading, numbers and learning differences 1 Keep the bond 1 Act on your values 1 Validate yourself and others 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Listening and understanding 1

Approach

Core 3 Emotionally focused 2 Gottman 1

When

After a row 5 Any ordinary day 1

Offer a full, tender apology for a wound, with no defence appended.

I see how that hurt you, and I am truly sorry. Then stop. The silence after is the repair.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 42:40

Rebuild trust today with one small, consistent, kept action rather than a grand promise.

Trust returns in tiny reliable acts, not speeches. Do the small thing you said, again.

A minuteRepair after ruptureEmotionally focusedQur’an 23:8

Find the part of the last argument that was yours, and own it with no but after it.

Even ten percent. I was harsh, that was on me. Ownership without defence lets them soften.

A minuteRepair after ruptureGottmanQur’an 7:23

Accept their repair attempt even while you are still a little angry.

Letting a small peace offering land, before you feel finished, is its own kind of strength.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 42:40

Take the word if out of your apology.

An apology with if in it quietly takes itself back; without it, the apology is whole.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 41:34

Let go of one old grievance about something they have already changed.

Holding a debt they have already paid keeps the wound open to no one's good.

A minuteRepair after ruptureCoreQur’an 64:14

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.